Times Like These-Seven Days Without Her-Oliver's pov
by anthfan
Summary: Companion story to 'Times Like These'. Follows Oliver's pov for the week where Felicity is being held captive by Nate.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: And thus begins the long awaited, much promised Oliver pov for the time where Felicity was missing. This will span the time from the roadside bomb through the end of Ch.20 of TLT. I hope this answers some questions, and gives some better insight into Oliver's mindset and what was happening while Felicity was being held captive by Nate.**

**Obviously if you're new to this one you absolutely need to read 'Times Like These' first.**

**Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

Oliver woke up early Sunday morning almost eighteen hours after their car had run over a roadside bomb and rolled down an embankment. His eyes came open with a snap, adjusting quickly to the dimly lit hospital room as he tried to gather his foggy memories and push away the pain in his head and shoulder.

A sound from the darkened corner had him lifting his head slightly to see an uncomfortable looking Roy Harper half out of the chair he'd been sitting in.

With a sigh Oliver let his head fall back and raised the arm that didn't hurt to scrub at his still blurry eyes. "What the hell happened?" he asked hoarsely,

Roy shuffled towards the end of the bed and kept cutting anxious looks to the door. Oliver surmised his sister had been there as well and left Roy momentarily, not thinking he'd wake while she was gone.

"Uh...sorry, Thea will be back soon. But...your...Mr. Diggle, he's around if you want me to…" Roy was already almost to the door and didn't bother to wait for Oliver to respond.

He let his eyes fall shut and tried to force away the pounding in his head. He gave an experimental roll of his shoulder and bit out a low groan. It was stiff and sore, and felt exactly like it had the last time he'd dislocated it.

The last thing he remembered was Digg yelling and Felicity screaming as they were thrown over the side, he'd tried to reach her but hadn't been able. The violent tumbling had kept him pinned to the door and then all he'd known was blackness.

Roy slipped back into the room, looking even more nervous than he had before, "Sorry, I didn't see him. But I sent Thea a text. She'll be back up in a-"

"Where's Felicity?" Oliver interrupted,

Roy stilled and paled and a knot of fear grew in the pit of Oliver's stomach.

"Where's. Felicity?" he asked again, this time through half gritted teeth as he tried to stop imagining worst case scenarios.

Roy scuffed the floor with his shoes and looked everywhere but at Oliver. "Look, you should wait for Mr. Diggle, or Thea, this isn't my…"

"Where the hell is she?!" he demanded, pushing away the covers and swinging his legs over the side of the bed, completely ignoring the wave of nausea and dizziness that washed through him.

The kid scrubbed a rough hand over his head and raised his eyes, "She's gone,"

Oliver was certain his heart had stopped beating. The pain that flared through his chest was swift and merciless, leaving him breathless and unable to stand as he sank back to the mattress.

"Oh shit! No! I mean, she was taken...kidnapped. Not _gone_ gone. That psycho freak caused the accident and took her from the car. I...shit…I'm sorry."

"She's not…" he couldn't bring himself to say the words, but Roy was already shaking his head,

"No! God no! I'm…the F.B.I is here, and they've been looking for her."

Oliver tuned him out, clutching the edge of the bed as he tried to control his ragged breath and calm his racing heart. She was alive.

He heard the door open, and then Digg's distinctive voice, "Oliver, you're awake."

"He uh...he knows." Roy supplied,

"Yeah, kid, I can see that."

As Oliver sat he let the pain he'd felt at thinking he'd lost her transform into a low, quiet, anger he knew he'd need as they worked to find her.

He was on his feet by the time Digg reached his side, trying not to grimace as his arm hung, pulling at the sore muscles. A tug on his left hand had him noticing an I.V for the first time and in only a few moments he'd shut off the fluids and removed the port, pressing his thumb hard over the spot to keep it from bleeding.

"Where are my things? We're leaving." he bit out, and could see the bruising along the side of the other man's face as well as the way he didn't stand as naturally as he normally did.

Digg cut a glance to Roy and then back, "Oliver, maybe you should wait until the doctor clears you,"

He just narrowed his eyes and repeated himself, making sure his tone couldn't be questioned.

It was Roy that dropped a leather duffle at the foot of the bed, "Thea brought you some things."

Digg shot the kid a look that would scare most men but Roy merely shrugged and stepped back. "If it was Thea I wouldn't be laying around either." he said simply and then exited the room.

"Oliver…" Digg began again but he held up a hand and stopped him,

"Don't! We have to find her." he said, already reaching for the bag,

"I was going to say hurry up and get changed. We've got work to do." the two shared a look and Oliver let out a small breath, knowing Digg wanted to find her just as badly and his previous words were just a front for Roy.

As he stripped off the hospital top and dug through the bag, he half turned over his shoulder, "Are there any leads?"

"None. She wasn't there when I came to. You had to be cut from the car and hauled up the hillside on a board. Chopper brought you back to Starling." he said tightly, a shuttered look passing over his eyes that made Oliver pause,

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Monroe's dead. Bullet to the head. And his gun is missing."

Oliver's eyes shut tight and his stomach dropped, "Samuels killed him,"

Digg just nodded once,

"I'm sorry, he was a good man."

Digg straightened up and adjusted his jacket, "He was and he died doing his job." at Oliver's furrowed brow he continued, "ME said he was awake before he was shot, and there were signs of a struggle not compatible with injuries from the crash. He tried to fight Samuels off and Samuels killed him."

Oliver didn't want to know why he and Digg hadn't received the same fate, but it wasn't something he was going to question right then.

"Are there any leads? Any idea where he's taken her?" now that he'd known Nate had killed, Oliver knew they had to find her as soon as possible.

"Lance has been keeping me in the loop as much as he can. They're going to want to talk to you. And they've consulted some profiler from D.C. to try and figure out his next move. But there doesn't seem to be any trace of them."

Oliver's head dropped and his hands tightened on the bag he was zipping up so violently he heard the leather strain. She had to be okay. The idea of trying to live without her was not something he could even think about.

A heavy hand dropped to his good shoulder and squeezed once, "We're going to find her, man."

"She's not…" he regretted the words almost as soon as they were out of his mouth, but the memory of thinking she was dead still resonated within him and for some reason he needed Diggle to be the one to tell him.

"No reason to think that, no reason at all." Digg confirmed, although his voice seemed tight and he clapped Oliver on the back once before he stepped away.

Oliver concentrated on changing as quickly as possible, all his thoughts focused on what they could do to find her. He couldn't let himself begin to imagine what was happening to her.

"You know they're not going to just let you walk out of here."

Oliver just gave a distracted shake of his head, "I'm fine." he said automatically, and heard Digg give a disbelieving scoff, "My head hurts," he conceded, "but I've had worse and it's not enough to keep me away."

"You don't have to convince me. I knew you'd be out of that bed as soon as you were awake." he stated as he took the bag from the bed and turned towards the door, "Now, let's go find our girl."

They got waylaid ten feet out the door by a disapproving nurse and Thea who ran up looking tired and worried.

"Ollie, what do you think you're doing?" she said as she laid a hand on his arm and swiveled her head between him and Roy who trailed after her. "Why are you out of bed? Why is he out of bed?"

"Speedy," he said sharply and pried her hand off of him, giving it a squeeze as he looked down at her, "I can't stay here. I have…" his eyes shut tight and he blew out a long breath, "I have to find her,"

Thea's eyes softened, "Ollie, I know. I get that but you were just unconscious for the past day, you can't be ready to leave yet." she turned to the nurse who had joined them, "He isn't cleared to leave is he?"

"Mr. Queen, I really must insist you return to your room. The doctor will be around in a few hours on rounds and you can discuss your discharge then." she said in a stern tone.

He could feel his frustration rise as every minute he was detained was a minute where he wasn't looking for Felicity.

"I'm sorry, but that's not possible. Get me whatever forms I need to sign to leave immediately." he used his 'CEO' voice as Felicity had dubbed it and for a second he saw a flash of her smile, and it sent a pang through his chest.

His eyes caught Digg's over Thea's head as she ranted and fumed, but his stoic silence eventually led to the nurse leaving with a sigh and Thea finally being pulled away by Roy, who surprisingly seemed to understand exactly where Oliver was coming from.

It took half an hour he didn't have to listen to the words of caution about how dangerous it was for him to be checking out against medical advice but he dismissed them without thought and signed the papers.

"The F.B.I has asked to speak to you, sir." Digg said, loud enough that Thea could hear, and he saw her head whip around,

"Now?! They can't give him half a day to die from a brain bleed because he's too damn stubborn to stay in the hospital like he belongs." she argued, hands waving, but he could hear the fear in her voice.

"Speedy, I'm fine. I promise." he said softly, taking her by the shoulders and making her look at him, "I have to do this. If there's anything I know that could help find her, I have to do this."

She gave a long sigh and then nodded. He kissed her forehead and set her back with a tight smile that he knew fell away more quickly than it should have.

"Mom's at the house. She was going to take the afternoon shift here, but she's been trying to handle some of the stuff from the office. Thankfully it's the weekend…"

Oliver felt a wave of weariness pass over him at the idea of having to deal with running the company right then as well. All he could think about, all he wanted to think about was getting Felicity back.

"I'll see her when I get there." he promised,

"You'll get Felicity back, Ollie, I know you will." Thea said softly, wide brown eyes looking up at him with sympathy,

He couldn't help the way all the air left his lungs, or how he pulled his sister back towards him for a tight hug.

Then he was moving away, Digg falling into step beside him and for the first time he noticed the three other agents. Monroe's absence was more startling than he expected it to be.

As they walked the corridors he could see the limp and stiffness Digg was trying to hide, "How are you? I'm sorry…" he said with a wave to his obviously injured left side.

"I'm fine. I've had worse, just like you." Digg replied as evenly as he could but there was a hint of something there he couldn't quite understand. What he did know was the man at his side would also go to any lengths to get Felicity back as well.

Digg held them back when they got to the lobby as he nodded to two of the other agents, "Let them go get the cars," he said and Oliver let out a huff of irritation at yet another delay.

As they waited he realized with a start there were no cameras or paparazzi trying to get to him.

"What the hell's going on? Where's the media?"

Digg shook his head slightly, "I'll fill you in once we're in the car."

When the cars had been pulled up and they were finally alone Digg caught his eye in the rearview mirror. "You want to head home or to the feds?"

"Feds. I want to know what's going on and what they're doing to find her." he said stiffly, "But for now explain how I wasn't swarmed by cameras leaving the hospital."

John gave an almost rueful shake of his head. "Dumb luck at first." he stated and Oliver leaned forward to hear better, "We were far enough outside the city that no one caught wind of what had happened. Once you were flown back the F.B.I dropped a media blackout on the hospital. Threatened prosecution if anything about your condition or even your presence there was released to the public. I think at first they were concerned Samuels might still be coming after you. There's been the usual cameras hanging out around the mansion and the office but...it's been quiet at the hospital."

Oliver sat back in surprise, "But...this should still be all over the news. Felicity was taken."

Digg sighed heavily and Oliver knew whatever he was about to be told would not be good, "Her abduction is being kept quiet as well."

"What?!" Oliver exploded, white hot anger coursing through his veins as he tried to process the information that made no sense to him.

"When the feds realized the...accident had escaped the media's attention they consulted with the profiler I told you about. He felt Samuels was too unstable, too reactionary. His advice was to keep it quiet and not spook him. They're afraid he's going to start bombing anything and everything, especially if he feels like he's being hunted."

"So…" he felt numb, and heavy, like he was trying to swim through something thick that was doing its best to drag him down.

"No one outside us and the F.B.I know Felicity is missing," Digg finished for him,

Oliver sat back heavily in the seat, both hands coming up to scrub roughly over his face as he tried to understand.

"How did this even happen? How did he know where we'd be?" the anger slipped through, making his words harsh and sharp as he spoke through a clenched jaw.

He didn't notice at first as Digg shifted in his seat, tension entering his broad shoulders. "It's my fault," he bit out, a tone of self-loathing and guilt Oliver had never heard him use before.

"Explain,"

"I saw the IED too late. Wasn't looking for it. And when I saw the signs…"

Oliver looked at his partner's profile in shock, "Diggle...you're not in the Middle East any more driving a Humvee. No one blames you for not noticing something you shouldn't have been looking for."

"I blame me. It's my job. It's my area of expertise and I failed. A man died, and Felicity is gone and that's on me."

His words were harsh and filled with more than either man wanted to delve into just then so Oliver nodded and clapped a hand on his shoulder before he sat back.

"How did he know where we'd be?" Oliver could remember all too vividly the conversation he'd had with his mother and Felicity the night before about how safe it would be for them to attend the event.

A muscle in Digg's jaw ticked, "One of the investors decided to issue a press release without clearing it first. Apparently it made the eleven o'clock news but no one knew about it. All we can figure is that Samuels saw it there and had the bomb ready. It was remote detonated. All he'd have to do is hide somewhere close and push the trigger at the right moment."

Oliver shook his head at how even when they thought they were doing everything they could Samuels was still managing to stay two steps ahead.

They left each other in silence until they pulled up out front of the building where the F.B.I had set up their office. It was only a few days prior when he'd been there with Felicity but it felt like a lifetime ago.

Oliver didn't wait for Digg to come open the door for him. He was out of the car and striding to the entrance, hardly registering as the other agents scrambled to keep up with him. Digg was forced to admonish with an expected "Mr. Queen," but Oliver paid him no mind.

He didn't see the agent they'd spoken with last time, but soon enough he was being escorted into a small office that held a simple table and chairs and offered something to drink which he declined.

"Mr. Queen, I'm sorry we have to meet like this," an agent he didn't recognize said as he entered the room, "I'm Special Agent Jackson, I've been given lead over the office in Starling City,"

"What's the status? Do you have any leads?" Oliver said immediately, no time wasted on pleasantries.

He sighed as he sat across the table, a thick file folder laid before him. "I'm afraid not. There's been no sign of Ms. Smoak or the suspect."

"And yet I'm told her abduction has been kept out of the media? There's a chance someone could see her and recognize her. Young, pretty, blonde women taken against their will are bound to stand out and draw attention, but if no one knows she's missing it's pointless!" his voice rose with his growing frustration at not understanding why they didn't seem to be doing everything they could to find her.

"I understand your points, Mr. Queen but we're operating under guidance from one of our top criminal profilers. He's concerned about the suspect's fragile mental state and the fact that his previous threats had escalated so quickly under a short period of time. We could be putting Ms. Smoak at a much higher risk by broadcasting her abduction. Right now the Bureau and your family are the only ones who know she's been taken."

Oliver's eyes narrowed as he leaned closer, "Her family hasn't been notified?"

The man shifted in his chair and paused before he spoke, "Considering the connection between the suspect and his parents they are currently under surveillance. If they're working with him in any way we want to avoid as much cross transfer of information as possible."

Oliver's pressed his palms into his eyes and willed his head to stop throbbing. "You're not telling her parents she's been kidnapped by a psychopath because you're worried they're going to give up information?"

"We're in a delicate situation right now, Mr. Queen. Time is something we don't have. I don't mean to be blunt but most abductions that are not resolved in the first forty-eight hours do not end with the victim being found alive."

His words were like a physical blow and Oliver felt himself rock back as all the air left his lungs. Forty-eight hours. It had already been half that amount of time and they had no leads. The idea that it could end up being a recovery and not a rescue was not something he could process just then.

"Wha...what are you doing to find her?" he managed to stammer out, still unable to take a full breath,

Jackson nodded, "We've got APBs out to all federal and state law enforcement. We're also monitoring airports, train and bus stations, rental car agencies, and the like. Facial recognition is running through traffic cameras both here and back east for either the suspect or Ms. Smoak."

"Why back east?"

"Our profiler believes the suspect is trying to recreate the circumstances surrounding his girlfriend's death; the trigger event that caused his psychotic break. Since he has already found a replacement for his girlfriend by way of Ms. Smoak it follows that he'd attempt to return to the location where the event occurred. The agents who headed up the initial investigation here last week have flown out to be on site and handle the case on that end."

Oliver swore under his breath and pinched the bridge of his nose as he tried to tramp down the wave of fear and helplessness that was trying to pull him under.

"So she might not even be in Starling then? She could be anywhere? You have no leads and time is running out. That's what you're telling me."

"I'm afraid so, Mr. Queen,"

"And what do you want me to do if her mother tries to contact her?"

"It would be helpful if you could...facilitate the illusion that Ms. Smoak is fine."

Oliver barked a sharp bitter laugh, "You want me to lie to her parents?"

"If you tell them the truth and the suspect is in fact in touch with his family it could end badly for everyone if the wrong information leaks out."

His head reeled as he tried to make sense of what was happening. He was used to being able to find his target easily. And if he couldn't find them he had Felicity to track them down. With Nate off the grid and without her by his side Oliver didn't know how he was supposed to find her.

For the next twenty minutes he answered repetitive, banal questions about Felicity and the little he knew about Samuels. Each one tore at his ragged nerves until he'd finally had enough.

Head pounding, and blood boiling he reached his limit and pushed to his feet. The agent sat back with a resigned sigh and told him they'd be in touch.

Feeling like he was no longer in his own body Oliver exited the room and headed for the door, ignoring Digg's look of concern. Oliver knew his mask had slipped, he just didn't have the will needed to put it back in place just then.

"They don't have a damn clue where she is." he said, the acid in his throat making the words stick in his mouth,

"Everything Felicity had been working on is back at the mansion. I managed to salvage her phone and tablet from the car and keep them out of federal custody." Digg didn't need to mention that if Felicity's tech had been examined they would have had more questions that they needed just then.

"Then lets head there. We can go to the foundry if we need to." donning the hood and protecting the city had never been further from his mind, but his obligation weighed heavy, as did his need to still continue as head of QC.

Oliver was used to the juggling act that was his life. He'd become proficient at keeping numerous balls in the air at once and rarely dropping them. But right then he wanted to drop them all, because all he could think about was finding Felicity and bringing her home.

His feet felt leaden as he climbed the few stairs to the front entrance of the mansion. As his hand hesitated over the door handle he took a deep breath and forced himself to enter. Walking into the foyer without Felicity by his side was wrong. In one short week everything between them had changed and he knew it was for the better.

He'd felt like a ghost since he'd returned from the island, but she'd brought him back to life. Without her with him he didn't know how he could be expected to continue. She was every good thing he never thought he deserved, and he didn't want to discover what he'd turn into without her next to him where she belonged.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: My deepest apologies for all the man!pain but it simply must be done. Thanks to everyone for all the support of the last part. I know having a separate pov like this isn't the easiest or most ideal situation but it serves its purpose and what he went through is important. And I'm guessing most of you are ok with a few chapters of Oliver being terribly angsty. :) **

**Enjoy, and let me know what you think!**

Growing up in a mansion he'd never known anything else. It had always been his home. And for as large, and imposing, and impressive as the structure itself was it had never felt anything but warm to him. The dark wood and the heavy fabrics and the smell of citrus polish never failed to center him. Even when he'd returned from the island, his first step through the door had immediately brought him back to his childhood.

But just then, early on that Sunday afternoon the foyer felt oppressive and cavernous at the same time. The floor was shaky beneath his feet and there was an almost damp chill in the space he'd never experienced before.

He glanced at the stairs but couldn't bring himself to go up them yet. The stairs meant his room and the bed he'd kissed Felicity in the day before, her laptop on his desk, and her clothes in his closet, and he knew he couldn't face that reality.

He found himself paused in the doorway to his father's study. Even after being CEO of the company he still considered the room to belong to his father. Shutting his eyes tight a memory washed over him. Robert Queen on the phone while a young Oliver ran a toy car over the shelves of the bookcases. His father had never kicked him out when he got too loud, he'd just place his hand over the receiver and ask him to keep it down. If his mother caught him in there she'd shoo him away, admonishing him for interrupting his father while he was on an important call. But his dad would always throw him a wave and a wink as he was ushered out the door.

The drapes were still pulled shut on the two high windows that flanked the desk, only allowing in a faint amount of light. As he paused in the threshold he couldn't help but wonder how he was supposed to do any of this without her. She was the one who guided him in the boardroom during the day, and was in his ear every night, and now he'd finally dropped all pretences and let her into his heart.

Besides Digg, she was the only one who truly knew not only his facades, but his real identity as well, and without her he felt as adrift and as lost as he had the day he'd had to dig his father's grave with nothing but his own hands.

With a clench of his fists he willed his feet to move forward, making his way towards the desk because even without her there next to him he had to do something to bring her back. There was an ache in his chest he'd never felt before and as he paused in front of the desk he realized what he felt was a sort of desperate hopelessness.

Hands braced on the smoothly polished wood, with his head bowed he didn't hear his mother until she was almost next to him.

"Oliver! Thea said you'd checked yourself out of the hospital! What were you thinking?" Moira said as she hurried the final few steps. He turned his head to look at her, and her hand froze in mid air on it's way to touching him before she pulled it back. "Oh, Oliver…" she whispered, her face falling at what she saw.

He looked back down quickly, one hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose as he attempted to gain control of his emotions.

"I'm fine, Mom," he said, voice half hoarse and he knew she wouldn't believe him,

"You're not fine, Oliver. The doctor's were worried you could slip into a coma. After everything this family has been through...I wish for once you could have taken care of yourself. Your sister hasn't slept, and this was the third time in a week I had to worry about whether I was going to lose you again!" she didn't yell, but he could hear the break in the last few words as her fear got away from her.

The throb of pain that shot through his skull matched the stab of guilt that hit him. He seemed to be incapable of doing right by anyone.

"I'm sorry, I know this has been difficult on everyone." he began, his voice almost shaking in an effort to keep his mounting anger from erupting. "But I can't lay in that bed when there's a chance I can do something to get her back."

There was a pause before Moira spoke, "Darling, I know you're worried about Felicity, but there's nothing you can do that the F.B.I isn't already doing."

He shook his head forcefully, ignoring how it made flashes of pain lace across his temple, "I can't believe that. Felicity was...is good with computers. She was trying to find Samuels on her own, thought she could track him down. If there's the smallest possibility she was on to something and I could use that…" finally he pushed himself off the desk and turned to face her, "I have to find her, Mom. I can't believe that…"

"I know...Oliver, I know how you feel about her. I know how important she is to you. I'm sorry, I didn't want to add to your burden, I've just been so worried about you and…" she trailed off and dropped her eyes from his for a moment, "I can't help but feel responsible,"

His eyes drew together in confusion, "Mom, what…"

"I'm the one that contacted the investors. And Norman Wainfield took it upon himself to issue a press release. He didn't think the PR department at Queen Consolidated was doing enough to show you were capable of leading the company. If I hadn't of been so eager for you to go to that event none of this would have happened."

He let out a long breath and looked to the ceiling before he took her by the shoulders and tugged her a step closer, "Mom, you can't blame yourself. Samuels was waiting for any opportunity to strike. If it hadn't of been the road to the winery it would have been someplace else."

He didn't blame his mother, he didn't even blame Norman Wainfield. Samuels was the only one who could be held responsible. And Oliver vowed to do whatever he could to find him and make him pay for what he'd done to Felicity.

"Be that as it may, Oliver I still feel responsible." she said sadly, raising a hand to cup his cheek, "Take care of yourself, please."

He gave a stiff nod and stepped back, rubbing both hands over his face as he looked to the desk where reports he'd been reviewing late Friday night still sat. Moira saw his gaze and moved forward to collect them.

"I know you probably don't want to hear this, but Isabel Rochev is on her way back from Germany right now. I tried to persuade her to not cut her trip short but she insisted on returning."

Oliver couldn't help the frustrated half growl that left his throat. Isabel was the last person he wanted to deal with just then.

"She's a shark and she smelled blood. I'm honestly surprised she wasn't back sooner." he bit out acerbically,

"I plan on having a presence at the office until this is resolved. I don't want you to have to worry about the company right now."

"I appreciate that, but if Isabel's back…" that high whine of static was beginning to fill his ears again, the one that reminded him he currently had no control over anything in his life, and it was a feeling he was wholly unused to having.

"I can handle Isabel Rochev, don't worry." his mother said quickly, a fire in her voice that hadn't been there earlier, and he was reminded that Moira Queen had more than held her own while at the helm of QC.

"Thank you,"

Her hand ran over his back gently, "Get some rest if you can, darling." she said softly before she moved past him and exited the room.

With slow, dragging steps he made his way around the desk and sat heavily in the chair, turning it so his back was to the door, something he normally would never do. However, just then he felt too numb and too disoriented to trust any of his island honed instincts. All he could concentrate on was the empty hole in his chest that seemed acutely aware of her absence.

He didn't know how long he sat there, but it was longer than he should have. A sharp rap on the door jolted him from his reverie and he turned to see Digg with an unreadable expression on his face.

"What is it?"

The other man approached, hand outstretched holding what Oliver realized was Felicity's phone. He sucked a sharp breath through his teeth as he took it, looking up and waiting for an explanation.

"Her mom's texted twice since this morning," Digg said evenly, but the strain around his eyes was evident.

Oliver scrubbed one rough hand down his face and rested his forehead in his palm as he turned the phone on, quickly entering Felicity's passcode of_ 'ARROW'_. He remembered the day he'd caught her typing it in. Her cheeks had flushed pink and she'd started to go off on a ramble about how she knew it wasn't the safest choice and how she of all people should know better. He'd merely smiled and stayed silent, never telling her how endearing he'd found it.

She had a huge amount of email notifications and missed calls, mostly work related but he ignored them and looked at the text messages from her mother.

The first one was sent early and all it said was _'How are things?'_ but the second was from an hour ago and was longer _'I'm worried about you. The F.B.I have talked to Dan and Diane but they're not telling them why and I can't find anything on the news. Call me soon.' _

He let the phone fall to the desk as he sat back and looked at Digg expectantly. "They want me to lie. They want me to not tell her parents that she's been taken."

"And what happens if you tell them the truth and Samuels parents are working with him somehow? I don't like lying to them either but...how often do we lie for the greater good? You've got to make peace that this is the same thing."

He understood what Digg was saying. His life was nothing but a lie for those very reasons. To protect people, to keep them safe. But with something that was not Arrow related it seemed wrong.

The heels of his palms pressed tight to his temple before he grabbed the phone and scrolled up to see how Felicity typically replied to her mother. It stung to see the words she'd written only days before. Some responses were long and rambling, and he couldn't help but feel the corner of his mouth twitch as her voice filled his head. It was quickly replaced with a pang that made his head drop forward and his hands clench tightly around the phone. He didn't think he could emulate one of her signature rambles, but there were plenty of replies by her that were short and to the point and he went with that._ 'Sorry, been busy with work. No new info. Talk soon.'_

Before he could second guess his decision he hit send and turned the screen off, slipping it into his pocket where he didn't have to look at it; the small device feeling like a concrete block laying over his heart.

"I hope I'm doing the right thing," he said under his breath,

Both men were quiet until Oliver suddenly pushed himself to his feet and took long, brisk strides out of the study, "Have you had a chance to go over anything yet? Were her searches still running?"

He needed something to focus on, something where he felt like he was actively working towards finding her.

The stairs were taken two at a time as Digg fell into step beside him.

"Other than checking her tablet I haven't looked at anything else. I don't know if she still had any searches going or not." Digg answered,

"Knowing Felicity, she probably did." Oliver replied as they made their way down the hallway,

His eyes resolutely ignored the bed as he pushed open the door, all his attention very purposely given to nothing but the desk and the computers she'd left running.

Everything else was in its place, but he knew if he went into the bathroom, or into the closet he'd be assaulted by _her_ and he didn't think he could face that yet. The bed behind him was bad enough and all his attempts to pretend like it wasn't there crumbled into nothing as he sat in the chair and had a flash of memory from the day before.

He'd woken up before she had, content to lay there with her slight weight resting against his chest. The image was burned into his memory and he had to shut his eyes tight as he remembered how she'd woken up and straddled his waist. The bright morning light had caught her hair and made it glow almost as bright as her smile as they'd traded promises about 'tonight'.

Except there hadn't been a 'tonight'. And there he sat, ineffective as he tried to fight a man who didn't want to fight, he just wanted to hide. A man who essentially had no past and seemed capable of vanishing without a trace. But he'd taken Felicity with him and Oliver knew that if she was capable she'd try and find some way of contacting them. All they could do was continue what she started and hope an opportunity presented itself.

For the rest of the afternoon and well into the night he brought himself up to speed on everything Felicity had been working on. He combed through the files Lance had sent her, searched the hits she'd been running through facial recognition, read the therapists and doctors notes from Samuels time at the mental health facility...anything he could find that would give him the full picture of who and what they were dealing with.

Digg helped where he could, but mostly he provided support services. He dropped food by Oliver's right hand every few hours and reminded him to eat. When a call came from Lance he passed along the message with a tired sigh; there was nothing new to report.

When two pills were laid next to a glass of water Oliver gave a distracted grunt and turned back to the screen. "I'm fine," he bit out, stopping the hand that was halfway to his temple to rub away the pain that refused to abate.

"No, you're not." Digg retorted, "You should probably still be in the hospital, but I'm not going to argue that point. I told you I understood. But you're no use to her if you kill yourself. Take the pills and get a few hours of sleep."

Oliver took a long inhale and kept his eyes forward. "If there's something here…"

"If there's something there I can keep looking. You had to know this was a long shot though, even Felicity couldn't find this guy. He's a ghost-"

With a violent motion Oliver was on his feet, fist pushed into the top of the desk as he felt a tremble of rage work its way down his back. "Don't you think I know that?" he ground out,

Digg's voice was even when he replied, "She'd be the first to tell you to take care of yourself. If we do find something she's going to need you at top form, and you know it."

Before he could do something stupid like flip the desk, or throw a punch at his partner he scooped up the pills and stalked from the room.

"Where are you going?" Digg called out,

"I can't sleep there." he responded without a backwards glance at the bed. A tiny part of him enjoyed the way the door slammed shut loudly behind him and he didn't see anything as he took long strides down the hallway away from his room.

The pills felt heavy in his fist. He hated drugs, he'd lived without them for five years on the island and gone through worse than a bump on the head. A voice that painfully sounded like Felicity's crept in, admonishing him for not taking what was available, and if it helped him get better quicker then what was the problem with that.

He threw the painkillers back, swallowing them dry because he could never tell her no, even if she wasn't actually there.

His steps slowed as he wandered the upper halls, passing all the rooms that mostly sat empty. He could only remember a few instances in his entire life when the house had been full, and for the longest time it had just been him. Him and Tommy, having the run of the place and driving the house staff mad when they'd messed up freshly made beds in ten different rooms. For a second the corner of his mouth twitched up as he recalled how Raisa had caught them before they'd messed up room eleven and then made them go back around with her and fix all the other rooms.

The breath caught in his chest at the memory of his best friend. He'd thought that was the worst pain he'd ever felt, but he knew losing her would be his undoing.

Without realizing it he'd come to a halt directly in front of the door to the room she'd stayed in that first night. With a heavy sigh he pushed in and let it shut carefully behind him.

It had only been a few days and yet she'd merged so seamlessly into the last part of his life he'd kept her separated from it was like she'd always been there.

The room was pristine as always. Any trace of her having occupied the space even for a short while had been erased, but it didn't hold the same memories as his own room did. And even though he'd raced the corridors that night to find her cowering in fear on the floor it still didn't have the same weight.

Already feeling the pull of the narcotics he moved almost sullenly towards the bed. Not bothering to change he toed his shoes off and laid down; he knew he wouldn't be asleep long.

He awoke three hours later to the sound of Felicity screaming his name. He'd made it halfway to the door, chest heaving when he heard the echo in his mind and knew he'd been dreaming. His knees felt loose and weak as he sank into a chair and let his head rest in his hands while he tried to calm his racing heart.

It hadn't been real. She wasn't there. She wasn't calling for him.

The thought struck him that maybe she was calling for him and he couldn't hear her. Did she think he'd abandoned her? Did she think he'd give up? Did she know that he'd do anything to find her and bring her home?

He shook his head forcefully as if he could physically remove the thoughts, or attempt to make them vanish before they could get any worse and he began to imagine what could be happening to her.

The house was silent as he made his way out the door and down the hall. He thought briefly of going back to his room and resuming his work, but he knew Digg would have something to say about it and he wasn't sure he could deal with human interaction just then.

In the basement of the mansion there was a fully equipped gym. He'd insisted his father have it installed when he was sixteen. It had been used for a month before he'd lost interest. He'd been down there a handful of times upon his return, preferring the foundry set up but for what he needed but in the moment it would work.

Digg found him there a little past daybreak, bearing two cups of coffee and tired eyes that let Oliver know the other man hadn't gotten much rest either.

The endless sets of reps had allowed his mind to go blank which is exactly what was necessary. When he was concentrating on his form, or counting which pull up he was on he didn't have to wonder where she was or if she was scared or hurt.

Oliver finished up another set and dropped to the ground with a grunt, grabbing a towel to wipe over his damp chest before he acknowledged Digg with a tilt of his chin as he took the coffee.

"How long did you sleep?" Digg asked carefully, even though Oliver was certain he already knew the answer,

"Long enough," he replied, taking a sip of the drink before sitting it down because it reminded him of Felicity.

Digg let out a long exhale but didn't say anything, just nodded tightly.

"Anything new?" Oliver asked as he tugged a shirt over his head, knowing by Digg's general demeanor there was nothing to report.

"Scans are still running. His name hasn't popped up anywhere and neither has her's, not that I expected it to. I read through the files from the hospital, thought maybe there could be something from the psychologist who skipped town but everything in the records seems to be above board."

Oliver was silent as he let himself fall back against the wall, head tipping up to study the ceiling before he looked back down at his watch. "It's almost been forty-eight hours." Digg shifted but Oliver ignored him and kept talking, "I shouldn't have slept...shouldn't have been down here. The agent said-"

"You can't think like that, man." Digg said quickly, cutting him off.

"Forty-eight hours. They said the chances of finding her alive after forty-eight hours are low. There are no leads. No trail. Nothing!" his fists clenched and pounded backwards but he didn't feel a thing, "How is this even possible? With what we do every damn night in this city how is it that we're sitting here with nothing to go on?!"

The hot sting behind his eyes and the way his throat thickened let him know he was too close to the edge. Without looking back he shoved off the wall and left the room, not sure if Digg was going to follow him or not.

His head was full of horrible images, things he couldn't unsee, and as he moved through the levels of the mansion he was almost completely unaware, all he knew was he had to keep moving.

His long strides ate up the empty space of the foyer when a buzzing in his pocket made him pause with one foot on the bottom step.

It was Felicity's phone, with Detective Lance's face staring back at him.

Oliver knew why he was calling. Lance was trying to get in contact with him. With Arrow.

He let the buzz continue until he knew it would go to voicemail, letting himself sink to sit on the step as he waited.

When the text popped up showing Lance had left a message Oliver let his eyes shut for a long moment, head supported by the heel of his hand as he listened.

There was a low clearing of a throat and then Lance's distinctive growl,_ '...This message is for him...you know who I'm talking about. I'm sure you're looking for her. Doing whatever you do. There's not much...not much to go on. Nothing new in almost twenty-four hours. I'd like to meet. Usual spot. Tonight at nine. If you...if you can, bring her back. She's special.'_

He was sure he'd stopped breathing. At the very least his heart had seized in his chest because everything felt frozen and empty.

Special. One word. Lance had managed to sum her up in one word.

She'd snuck into his life without even trying. She was nothing more than a means to an end at the beginning. A way to get information he had no other way of getting. And she'd seen right through him from the start. The cold, in control, calculated man who had returned from the island should have recognized the danger then and retreated. He should have never gone back to her. She was on to him the minute he'd walked into her office with that laptop.

Instead he went back. Again and again, each lie getting looser and more weak until they were both agreeing to ignore his pathetic attempts without saying a word. And somehow through the lies they built a trust.

Something made him go back to her. Something made him be honest with her when he couldn't do the same with anyone else. Something made him turn to her and reveal his secret when he needed help.

She was special.

And now she was everything. She propped him up and kept him going. She'd brought him back, quite literally. She'd melded into every area of his life and he couldn't imagine what his world would look like without her.

Except that possibility was staring him in the face and he had one more person looking to him to fix this and he had no idea where to start. They kept running into dead end after dead end.

The fist that held her phone pressed hard into his forehead as he felt the anger build.

"Oliver-"

Digg's voice had a quality to it he'd never heard before and Oliver's head snapped up to see his partner frozen in the center of the foyer, body braced for an attack, except he didn't seem to expect it to be a physical one.

It took Oliver a second to realize what he must look like, half collapsed on the steps, phone clutched in his hand.

"Lance called...he called her phone. Wants to meet with _him_." he spat out as he stood, barely noticing as Digg's posture visibly relaxed. "I don't know what he thinks I can do. I can't do a damn thing except wait, which isn't doing anyone any good. It's sure as hell not bringing her back! Nothing is! We're at forty-two hours and we've got nothing! They've vanished and no one knows a thing." his pulse and breathing were reaching levels he knew weren't good, but none of that seemed to matter. His voice echoed up the stairwell, bouncing loudly off the dark wood panels and carrying down hallways.

The rage, and pain rose within him, past the point where he could control it and in a flash he'd turned and slammed a fist into the wall next to him with a great roar.

His knuckles punched through wallpaper and drywall, tearing a hole twice the size of his hand and when he pulled back dust and bits of paper fluttered to the floor. All that could be heard were his ragged breaths as he let his head rest against the wall, eyes burning with tears he refused to let fall.

Digg didn't say a word and a door shutting upstairs finally made Oliver move. He wiped the back of his scraped hand along the leg of his pants as he made his way up the steps.

Thea was standing in the middle of the upper hall, hair mussed, with a robe hanging loosely off her shoulders. "Ollie!" she cried when she saw him, biting her lip in worry as she approached.

But he couldn't accept any comfort just then. His blood still pounded through his veins and his nerves were like live wires. He raised one hand to hold her off. "Not right now, Speedy. Please."

Her gasp coupled with the way her face fell cut him like a knife as he walked past her and entered his room letting himself fall back against the shut door with a thud.

He wanted to hit something else. Again and again. Let his mind go blank and let all his training take over where nothing but instinct and raw brutality could take over. That he understood. That was simple compared to the overwhelming emotions he was trying to process. Emotions he was trying to process without her there to help him.

The first few steps from the door to the desk were hard. When he reached the computers he sat her phone down and stared at the screens. It was the same information that had been there hours earlier. No alerts to let him know there had been a hit on facial recognition or any of the other data mining programs that had been left running.

His hands tightened on the back of the chair and when he looked down he spotted them. Pushed off to the side, but still in the eye-line of anyone sitting at the desk he saw a slim black case, open, and inside rested her glasses.

All the anger exited him with an exhale that left him light-headed as he sat in the seat. He could only stare at the familiar shape, the one item he associated with her above all else. Since the day he'd met her they'd been the same. Same frames, same color, same way she'd use her fingers to push the sides up whether they needed to be adjusted or not, a nervous tick he'd picked up on immediately.

Seeing them brought him a peace he hadn't expected. Slowly his heart slowed, his breaths calmed and he felt some of the tension ease from his shoulders and back. He gave himself a long moment to just focus on the glasses, to let that familiar object anchor him to her, wherever she was.

A glance to the clock let him know how quickly the minutes were vanishing. That forty-eight hour mark loomed over him like a massive shadow. He couldn't give up, because she never would. If their positions were reversed he knew she'd scoff at such a deadline.

Forty-eight hours or forty-eight days, he wouldn't abandon her. She was the exception. She'd always been exceptional and he knew if anyone could survive it would be her. She'd come through the other side. He had to believe that.

Almost reverently he reached out and touched the cool frames, remembering the last time he'd seen her wearing them in the car just before hell had visited them. Digg must have found them in the wreckage. There wasn't a scratch on them. He could only hope the same could be said for her when they found her.

Taking a deep breath he lowered the lid of the case and pushed it to the side before he turned his attention back to the screen.

For hours he worked without stopping. His mother and Thea let him be which only made him feel slightly guilty. Digg joined him at some point, dragging up a chair to work on the tablet, occasionally turning a screen his direction or pulling the keyboard over to check something. They didn't speak. Their focus was complete, their mission simple: get her back.

A knock on the door made him jerk his head to the right as Digg got up and let in one of the house staff carrying a tray. Oliver sat upright and scrubbed burning eyes, the always present ache in his head throbbing to life after being ignored for so long.

"Mrs. Queen insisted I bring up a lunch tray, sir." the girl said quietly and at the word 'lunch' Oliver was on his feet with a muffled curse, grabbing his jacket and phones off the desk.

A chill entered his blood, his gut twisting as he finally locked his gaze on Digg who was looking at him in concern.

"It's been forty-eight hours and we haven't heard from the F.B.I."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for continuing to be interested in Oliver's pov. In a perfect world where we know when fics are going to turn into monster novel length stories I probably would have gone about things a bit different. Mixed Oliver's pov in throughout, and bounced this time period back and forth between him and Felicity. But alas, we don't always know when these things are going to happen so a separate pov it had to be. For those of you actually taking the time to read this you'll be ahead of the game, at least in terms of hopefully understanding Oliver a bit better in ch.20 of TLT and the chapters to come. Hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think! **

Oliver burst through the doors of the F.B.I's office with more force than necessary, his eyes searching for Agent Jackson in the sea of dark suits and blue polo shirts. He wanted answers. He needed to know why it was Monday afternoon, two days since she'd been taken and they had no idea where she was.

"Queen!" he vaguely heard a voice call above the din but he ignored it as he scanned the room.

A hand on his shoulder had him whipping his head to the side to see the worn face of Quentin Lance.

"Oliver!" he snapped quickly and with a rush of noise Oliver could suddenly hear and see what was happening around him.

Behind Lance were four agents all looking extremely serious, and with their hands resting on the butts of the weapons at their hips.

"You look like hell, son. Why don't we go get a cup of coffee and I'll bring you up to speed." Lance suggested, not once looking to the agents behind them,

Oliver swallowed thickly and nodded once before he allowed Lance to lead him through a maze of desks and makeshift offices until they found a spot that was relatively empty.

"Not a good idea to go bursting through the Feds space like a bull in a china shop. They tend to not like that." Lance admonished lightly as he gestured towards a chair before he made his way over to a nearby coffee pot.

Oliver sat down, elbows resting on his knees as he stared at the scrubbed linoleum floor, Digg coming to stand beside him. He almost jumped when a white styrofoam cup was pressed into his hands.

Lance dragged up another chair and offered it to Digg who refused. With a sigh Lance took the chair for himself and dropped into it like his bones were having a hard time keeping him upright.

The older man scrubbed a hand down his face and leaned forward before he spoke, although Oliver was certain he knew what he was going to say.

"There's nothing new to report on Ms. Smoak or Samuels. No new leads, no new intel."

It took everything within Oliver not to crush the cup he was holding, although he wasn't sure he would have even felt the hot liquid as it poured over his skin.

"But we do have something on the psychologist that vouched for Samuels and helped him with his release." there was a slight hopefulness in his voice that Oliver latched on to as his head shot up to look at the detective.

"We uh...we received a tip and seized his computers," something stirred in Oliver's chest at the knowledge that Lance was protecting Felicity. She had been the one to put together the info on the doctor and send it to Lance. "The bastard was into kiddie porn." Lance informed with a snarl, "Samuels must have found out and blackmailed him into helping him get out."

"But there's been no movement-" Oliver paused and caught himself, "I mean, I thought there had been no movement from him once he skipped town." Lance couldn't know he'd been continuing Felicity's searches on databases they had illegally gained access to.

Lance shook his head, "We weren't really looking for him. His actions were suspicious but his name hadn't been picked up buying any plane tickets or attempting to leave the country so the F.B.I hadn't been focused on him. Until now."

Oliver sat straighter in the chair, knowing Lance was about to tell him something he didn't know.

"He popped on facial recognition renting a car in Starling City early Saturday morning, except he was using an alias."

The news settled within him as his emotions rocketed from anger to elation to confusion.

"Were they with him?" Oliver choked out

Lance looked down sadly, "No, Howard was by himself in the video, but we've got the make and model of the car now. It was a two week rental and he paid in cash."

The hope that had been slowly filling him dropped hard and quick taking his breath with it. "Then they could be anywhere."

"The profiler thinks this lines up with his theory that Samuels is trying to take her back east to re-live the accident. They can't fly, he'll know they'll be caught. But driving gives them anonymity."

The thought of Felicity being trapped in a car somewhere between Starling and the east coast was almost too much for him to handle.

"It's been forty-eight hours," he blurted out, rising to his feet as he did because he hadn't meant to say that.

Lance sighed heavily but stayed in his seat, "I know what the stats say-"

Oliver paced the small space and then pivoted, "Jackson said the chances of finding her alive after forty-eight hours weren't good,"

"And I can show you just as many cases where the victim was found, perfectly well and alive days past that, even weeks and months in some cases." Lance rose then and crossed to stand right in front of him, "Even five years," he said pointedly making Oliver take a step back and rake shaky fingers through his hair.

"Do you think she's dead?" Lance asked suddenly

"No," Oliver replied without thinking, freezing as the quick exchange resonated with him,

"Good. I don't either. Hang on to that."

Oliver nodded mutely as Lance clapped a hand to his shoulder. "I'll track Jackson down, see if there's anything new. Now that we know he's using an alias they're searching everything to see if there's something that got missed,"

Half an hour later Jackson invited him into his office, but told him nothing that Lance hadn't already known. Oliver and Digg paced the lobby for another few hours as if their mere presence could somehow help facilitate her rescue.

Finally Digg convinced him to head out. A conference call from the team in Felicity's hometown was slated to happen later that day and Lance promised to let them know if anything came from it.

He shouldn't have been surprised when Digg pulled up behind Verdant and gave Oliver a pointed look. "I'll go grab something to eat and be back," he said as Oliver exited the car, pulling away before he could reply.

Walking into the lair for the first time since she'd been missing hit him like a sharp blow. His steps faltered as he made his way down the metal stairs, hand clutching tight to the rail as her empty chair came into view.

He'd been in the lair countless times without her there but this was different. The space she'd redesigned had always had a warmth to it, a comfort he didn't find in many places, but then, much like the mansion, it was cold and empty without her presence.

His hand ran along the top of her chair, still turned slightly to the side from the last time she'd exited it. The screens jumped to life with a touch of the keyboard and he saw a mirror image of the set up back at the mansion. But like all the times before there was still nothing new. Nothing to go on.

The hours at the F.B.I had left him feeling jumpy and on edge, something he wasn't used to, and with the only sound around him coming from the air vents and not from the familiar clatter of her fingers typing, he pushed away and stalked across the training mats, stripping his shirt off as he went.

When Digg returned Oliver was solely focused on the training dummy, the steady rhythm helping to calm the raw edges that were threatening to unravel as he tried his hardest to ignore her absence.

He was left alone, nothing reaching him as he lost himself in the repetition until his forearms were numb and his muscles burned, arms hanging limp at his side, as he drew ragged breath after ragged breath the room slowly coming into focus around him.

Digg was at the bank of computers, a bag of food off on a side table, still abiding by Felicity's rule of no food or drink within five feet of her equipment.

As he toweled off he was surprised to see how much time had passed. He only had a little over an hour before he was supposed to meet Lance.

The food was cold, and he didn't taste it. He only ate it because Digg leveled him with a look and he knew he needed it for fuel and nothing else.

"Anything?" he asked unnecessarily as he wiped his hands and threw the trash away, coming to stand at Digg's shoulder.

"Lance texted. The conference call got delayed...but other than that, nothing."

His hands clenched into fists, his head tilting to the side as he tried to keep himself calm. "I'm going to patrol before I meet with Lance. Go back to the mansion if you want. Or home, Digg, go home."

The only indication he had that Digg took affront to his attempt to send him home was the way his jaw ticked and the fact that he wouldn't look at Oliver. "Want me on the comms?" he offered,

"No!" Oliver bit out before he could even really process what had been said. He didn't want anyone on the comms other than Felicity. Her voice was the only voice he wanted in his ear. To have the link to the lair and not be able to say 'Talk to me, Felicity' might be more than he could handle.

An hour later the streets of Starling were down a few random thugs who were more worse for wear than he usually would have left them, but it had done nothing to help loosen the icy fist around his gut that only seemed to get tighter with every passing minute.

Lance was already there when Oliver shot a zip-line over to the rooftop where they met. The detective was still in plainclothes, his hair more rumpled than it typically looked and he didn't appear as if he'd slept more than Digg or Oliver had.

"We got nothing," Lance said immediately with no lead in, his tone rough and more gravelly than usual. "So once again I'm turning to the one guy in the city who seems to have all the resources even though it goes against almost everything I stand for as a cop. But I figure you actually have a dog in this fight. _Your_ girl's been missing for two days now, so what do you got?"

The accusatory, angry nature of his words made Oliver step back, physically trying to avoid the attack.

"I'm working with the same information you are, Detective," Oliver returned as soon as he was able to speak. Guilt swamped over him, leaving his head reeling at the idea that Lance thought he should be able to find her. Because he was right. Oliver should be able to find her.

Lance barked out a scoffing laugh at that, "Right? I've seen what you can do. I know what you've done in the past, and you're telling me you can't find one pretty, blonde girl?"

"It's more complicated than that,"

"Is it? I get this has nothing to do with you and your...mission, whatever that is, but I've seen what that girl does for you, the risks she takes...she's already in a high profile job and yet she still finds time to work for you and this crusade you're on. I think you owe her."

"I do owe her! I owe her everything!" Oliver roared back, vision blanking on the edges as his hand clenched so tight around his bow he could feel it creak. He wanted to rage more. To scream until his throat ached about how he was doing nothing but trying to find her. But somewhere in the back of his mind a voice crept in and reminded him that he couldn't show Lance his true reaction. Oliver Queen could be that upset about the woman he loved, but not the Arrow.

Lance nodded once, wiping a hand down his face before he stuffed his fists in his pocket, "I believe that. I just...I meant what I said earlier, she's special." his voice had become quieter, some of the fire leeching away, shoulders slumping forward as he moved only slightly closer,

Oliver made a noise of agreement, not trusting his words wouldn't give him away just then.

"She uh...she snuck in when I wasn't paying attention you know. All big eyes, and bright smiles...she's the last person in the world you'd think would hook up with the likes of you. And somehow I went from bringing her in for questioning to looking after her like she was one of my own."

He looked off into the city, eyes seeing further than the buildings before him, "I've already lost one daughter...I can't...I know she's not mine but…"

Oliver's throat was tight with emotion he couldn't shed just then. Felicity had done what she'd done with everyone she met. She drew them in. She made them care.

He didn't need the reminder that he was the reason Lance had lost Sara and could lose Felicity too.

With a great inhale he swallowed it down and shoved it deep inside where he didn't have to deal with it just then. "How are you working with the F.B.I? I didn't think they appreciated the help of local law enforcement," his all too obvious change of topic was deliberate.

Lance let out a half a chuckle, "Yeah, they don't. But I offered my services. Told them I'd do my best to keep Oliver Queen out of their hair if they let me help."

He paused for a long moment before he continued, "And the agent in charge has a daughter her age so...he gets it," Lance offered almost as an afterthought, but the way he said it led Oliver to believe it was most likely the primary reason for why he'd been allowed to work with them.

"I don't have any answers, Detective, but I'm doing everything I can to find her," Oliver said, thankful the modulator didn't transmit the break in his voice as he spoke, "But she...The best person to find Felicity is Felicity."

Lance opened his mouth to speak and then let it fall shut again, sighing. "Yeah...I get that. I'll send her... you... I'll send you some of the latest stuff but it's not much."

He didn't sound like the tough, hardened cop any longer, now he just sounded like a man who had seen how cases like this could end, and what he had seen wasn't good. The man who had assured Oliver earlier in the day to not lose hope didn't seem as if he had any just then.

Shame, guilt, dread...they'd all taken up residence inside Oliver's chest, pushing away air and all sense of normality, leaving nothing but a thick black void that was slowly expanding. It creeped through him and muddled his thoughts as he stared at the half-broken man before him, knowing he could be responsible for breaking him once again.

Where would that leave Quentin Lance.

Where would it leave Oliver.

Without a word he snatched an arrow from his quiver and fired it back across the rooftops, disappearing into the night before Lance could say another word.

Oliver didn't recall how he made it back to the lair. He could have been spotted, could have been jumped and he would have never seen it coming. Digg was on his feet as soon as he threw the bow down, not bothering to put it back in the case.

"Check her phone, Lance is sending more files," he said, voice monotone and flat as he headed for the shower. "I'll get myself back,"

He took the long way to the mansion, the roar of the Dukati under him doing nothing to help settle his thoughts. The house was dark and quiet when he entered and had made it halfway up the stairs when he paused and turned around.

His steps led him back to the front parlor and the drink cart that held the scotch. The first pour went down like glass making him grimace. The second just burned a trail of fire all the way to his stomach, doing nothing to thaw the knot that had taken up residence inside him.

Lance's accusations had hit him harder than he expected. He knew the man was hurting and worried and lashing out at the Arrow was easy. But Oliver didn't know how much more he could handle.

He hadn't felt this out of control, this lost since the Gambit had gone down. Felicity kept him even, she balanced him, without her he had no equilibrium.

It had been building for days. For over a week really. Ever since he'd looked up from his desk to see Felicity spilling papers all over the office floor as she spotted Samuels for the first time in seven years. That moment had changed everything. Their world had tilted on its axis and it hadn't stopped.

But now he didn't know which end up was up. He was helpless, hopeless, and those were feelings so foreign to him he was almost surprised he'd been capable of having them. Even when he'd gone up against Merlyn he'd known, he'd been resolute, content with his decision even if it led to his death.

Desperation, and grief, and anger warred. The battle was spiraling out of control until he couldn't see and he couldn't breathe, and the darkness threatened to fill his veins. His grip tightened on the glass in his hand, and when it all boiled over all he could do was turn and aim for the fireplace.

The crystal crashing into the darkened bricks wasn't enough, it only made him angrier, and with his heart thundering and blood rushing he turned to the metal drink cart and upended it with a barely muffled scream.

Clear and amber colored liquors mixed as they slowly seeped into the persian rug and spilled onto the hardwood floors. The broken decanters caught the faint light, glittering like diamonds as he stood over it all, hands clenched at his sides, chest heaving.

Oliver stumbled backwards as his breaths became more ragged. He couldn't take a full breath, spots dancing in his vision that had already narrowed down to only what was in front of him. When his back hit the wooden frame of the doorway he gave in and sank to the floor his head coming to rest in hands as the first tears fell.

Since he'd woken up in the hospital and found out she was missing he'd been pushing this down, tucking it away, and doing his best to ignore the grief, and the loss but he couldn't do it any longer.

Soft, cold hands closed over his and for a second...god, for one split second he thought it was her. Until he heard the half mumbled 'Ollie' and his heart restarted with a pang as he heard his sister's voice.

Head still bowed, heels of his hands pressed into his forehead, he didn't move. Thea's fingers tightened over his and he felt one hand coast over his hair.

"Ollie…" she began and he tried to pull back, not wanting to talk, but she didn't let go. "What happened? Did the F.B.I call?"

She was scared he'd heard the worst, he could hear it in her voice.

All he could do was shake his head 'no' as her relieved exhale filled the air around them.

"Then what is it? Talk to me, Ollie, I know you don't...do that but...I want to help. I'm so sorry this happened. It's not right and it's not fair, but you're killing yourself! You're not eating, and you're not sleeping, and you should probably still be in the hospital, but you're not. Instead you and Mr. Diggle are up all hours of the night trying to...I don't even know. I don't know what you think you can do that the F.B.I can't, but I understand you feel like you have to do something. But she wouldn't want you to do this to yourself!"

At the mention of Felicity his head snapped up, wet eyes feeling the coolness of the room as he looked at his sister for the first time as she knelt in front of him. "She is supposed to be _here_. I don't know how to do this without her, I...can't do it...anything, I don't want to." once the words had started he found he couldn't stop, "If she's...god, Thea, if she's gone-" his voice broke as the thought caught in his throat and he found himself unable to complete the sentence.

She shifted next to him, arm slipping under his to curl around his bicep so she could hug him to her as best she could. "You can't think like that," she said almost fiercely, "Ollie, listen to me. I don't know Felicity that well, but I can see what she means to you, and I can see what she does for you. She's brought you back. You let her in, when you wouldn't or couldn't let anyone else in, you let her in." There was no trace of bitterness in her tone, "So even though I don't really know her I do know she's got to be one strong woman. You couldn't have made it easy for her and she still didn't give up. You have to believe she's not giving up now. So wherever she is, she's fighting and she's doing whatever she can to get back to you. Because the one thing I do know is that girl is as much in love with you as you are with her."

"I do...I am," he admitted out loud for the first time, "And I know I'm no good for her but...she makes me better, she helps fill the holes the island left and...I can't lose her." the hot sting behind his eyes of fresh tears took him by surprise and Thea didn't say anything, just wrapped an arm around his shoulders and tugged him sideways until his head came to rest against hers.

She shushed him gently until his shoulders stopped shaking and then they just sat in silence, the dark enveloping them.

He didn't know how long they sat there before Thea finally moved, "Come on, big guy, my butt's falling asleep, and I know your head has to be killing you." she said as she slid sideways and climbed to her feet, both hands grasping one of his as she tugged upwards.

Slowly and reluctantly he let her pull him upright, the change in position sending a vicious throb through his skull that made him grimace. Thea gave him a knowing look and led him to the nearest couch.

His eyes cut over the mess he'd made earlier. All the anger and frustration and rage he'd felt was gone, leaving him feeling hollow and empty, and he honestly wasn't sure which was better.

"I can't, I need to clean that up." he protested,

"I'll get it." she assured him as she shoved down on his shoulders and made him sit. "Just rest, okay? I'd send you to bed, but I doubt you'd sleep."

He let his head fall against the winged corner with a sigh and shut his eyes. She was probably right. "Thanks, Speedy," he said softly and her hands squeezed his once before she moved away.

For awhile all he could hear was the faint sounds of glass clinking as she collected the remnants of his explosion. The sounds became easier and easier to tune out until they faded away altogether.

He woke up to Diggle calling his name and faint light trying to seep its way around the edges of the heavy drapes in the front parlor.

Oliver sat up, blinking heavy eyes to see his partner standing by the half open pocket door Thea must have closed up on her way out. One hand held car keys, the other had Oliver's leather jacket.

"There's a lead," he said without preamble and Oliver was on his feet, half jogging to meet him, taking the jacket as they turned and made their way to the front door. "Lance just called. Dr. Howard was picked up renting another car at an airport a couple of hours from here. Local P.D has followed him to an extended stay hotel where he was seen entering a room."

"What about-"

"There's been no sighting of Felicity or Samuels but…" Digg didn't need to finish, right then Howard was the only connection they had and it could be it was the break they were waiting for. "Lance said as long as you hang back and promise not to get involved you can go."

Oliver just nodded as they climbed in the car, if this got him Felicity back he'd do anything.

Digg filled him in on the little they had been given as he drove. Facial recognition picked Howard up as soon as the counter had opened that morning. There was no indication as to how he had arrived at the airport, and the rental car he'd gotten in Starling hadn't been found.

Once again he'd taken a two week rental, non-descript car, and paid in cash.

"Cops didn't see anyone else enter or exit the car or the room," Digg's voice held a warning for him to not get his hopes up. But it was the first real hit they'd had since this started, and as cautious as he knew he should be he couldn't help the way his heart raced just a bit faster at the thought that this could all be over soon. In just a few hours times he could be holding her.

They rode the rest of the way in almost complete silence. Nothing needed to be said. They both knew what the outcome of this could bring and all they could do was see it out.

The hotel was part of a large chain, the sort traveling business professionals used when they'd be in a different city for a week or two at a time. One half of the 'T' shaped building was blocked off with the F.B.I's mobile vans and black SUVs.

Digg pulled off to the side and Oliver spotted Lance near the back.

"Anything?" Oliver asked when he reached the detective's side, not bothering with any sort of greeting. His words from the night before still rang in his head, the fact that they were potentially standing in front of the break they'd been waiting for doing nothing to ease the guilt Oliver still felt at not being the one to find her.

"A unit is about to enter the room. Front desk says Howard checked in by himself yesterday afternoon using the same alias as before and no one's seen him with anyone matching Ms. Smoak or Samuels description, but they're pulling the security tapes now."

The three men stood behind the barricade and watched as a five man until in full combat gear ran silently up the staircase to the second level. Oliver's gut clenched as he took in the automatic weapons, and tear gas canisters they were apparently willing to deploy, and the chance of Felicity being in that room and being caught in the crossfire scared him.

He must have moved because Digg's strong grip clamped on his forearm was suddenly keeping him in place. He wanted to run. To scramble up the side of the building, knock through the door with his bow drawn and end it all.

But he couldn't. He was forced to pace the sidelines as horrible images flashed through his mind of what they might find behind that door.

Then it was being busted down and none of them breathed as the team entered the room.

He wouldn't have been able to say how long they waited, but when the team emerged with Howard in handcuffs and Oliver heard them yell 'All clear' he was certain his heart had stopped beating. One by one they filed out until everyone that had gone in had come out and the door was shut firmly behind them, one man standing guard as the rest made their way back down.

"No," he breathed out, "Where is she?"

"Oliver...there was no indication she was with Howard…" Lance began, trying to ease him into the idea that she wasn't there, but one look is all it took to know that Lance had been hoping for the same miracle and had been waiting for her to walk out of that room as well.

The tight, twisting feeling in his chest he'd felt the night before grew again, and the rush of blood in his head blocked out the words he knew Digg was saying.

Oliver's gaze latched onto Howard as he was led across the parking lot and before anyone could stop him Oliver had hopped the barricade and erased the distance between them in a few long strides.

He didn't stop as he pushed past the agents. He ignored the shouts and the weapons that were drawn, and the danger to himself. His only focus was on the man who could give him answers.

"WHERE IS SHE?!" he roared as he grabbed Howard by the front of his shirt and lifted him off his feet. Oliver never felt the hands on him. Not Digg trying to pull him back or the other two agents pushing between him and Howard.

"Get him into the van!" a voice shouted as Howard was dragged away and then Jackson was in Oliver's face, "You need to stand down, Mr. Queen! Let us do our job!"

"Come on, Oliver," Digg said, strong arm still braced across Oliver's chest as he tried to walk him backwards.

"Lance! Keep him on a leash or you're both out of here!" Jackson ordered before he turned his back and followed after Howard.

Lance let out a frustrated sigh and dropped a hand to his shoulder, "Come on, son-"

Oliver shook him and Digg off angrily and spun on his heels, both hands coming up to run over his head as he crossed back over the barricade and leaned against the hood of the car, willing to wait as long as he had to.

They waited for hours. Lance left a few times to get an update but always came back shaking his head. All he'd been able to find out for certain was that no one else was in the room with Howard nor did it seem as if anyone had ever been with him. Their lead was growing colder by the second and the flare of hope Oliver had felt earlier was fading quickly.

Late afternoon Jackson emerged from the van and motioned for them to follow him. They crowded into a mobile unit as Jackson sank into the only chair available.

"We got it all. He admitted Samuels blackmailed him. Got him to falsify the medical records to reflect that Samuels was improving. He was also instructed to obtain a fake I.D and what to do after Samuels was released from the facility. If he complied then Samuels would stay quiet and not turn him in." Jackson began and Oliver was once again amazed by the level of planning Samuels had gone into to set everything into motion.

"Howard flew into Starling last Friday. He said it was a last minute call from Samuels. Told him he needed to fly out, rent a car for him under the false name and then lie low for a few days before he could leave. Howard says he never actually had contact with the suspect. He dumped the car in a parking lot and took a bus back to a hotel in Starling where he stayed until yesterday."

For a long moment there was silence, no sound but the muffled noises from outside and the slight rumble of the engine running.

"Felicity...she…"

"I'm sorry Mr. Queen, other than some basic knowledge as the girl Samuels had been obsessed with before he got admitted, Howard had no idea who she was. He didn't even know she lived in Starling City until he'd seen news reports from last week."

"So we're back to where we were. Samuels is still a ghost and Felicity is…"

"I'm sorry, I wish I had better news for you. We'll take him back, question him again. He did say in his professional opinion, for whatever thats worth, but he did say he wouldn't be surprised if Samuels was taking her back east to re-live what happened to his girlfriend."

Oliver felt the air rush from his chest as he leaned against the wall. The idea of her stuck in a car with Samuels halfway across the country left him with a feeling of dread he knew he wouldn't be able to shake.

"I know things look bad, Mr. Queen, but the fact that Samuels put so much care and planning into this is a good thing. He's not rushing, he's willing to take his time. And right now he has no reason to think anyone is after him. He'll slip up, and when he does we'll catch him." Jackson had stood, looking him in the eye as he spoke and Oliver knew he should be able to find some comfort in his words, but they just sounded forced and hollow.

"Agent Jackson, if there is anything I can do...any resources I can provide, equipment that needs to be purchased...I'm willing to do whatever is necessary to bring her home safe," Oliver didn't believe they had anyone on their team as good as Felicity, but if he could help pad their chances of finding her he would.

Jackson's eyes dropped and when he looked back Oliver could see the man beneath the agent, "Thank you, Mr. Queen, I'll keep that in mind."

They filed out of the van silently, Lance following them back to their car.

"Don't give up hope. Howard may have more to share, and there's an APB out on the first car Howard rented. Every cop between here and the Atlantic is looking for it."

All Oliver could do was nod as he climbed numbly into the car. Four days, one lead, and it had vanished as quick as it had come leaving them with a wasted day and no closer to finding her.

"See you back in Starling," he heard Lance say as Digg crossed in front. The detective rapped his knuckles twice on the roof before he slowly headed for his own car.

The sun was almost set as they headed back to the city, and the car was filled with everything not being said. It was Tuesday night. She'd been gone for four days. And they didn't know where in the hell she was.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So here it is. The chapter with THE PHONE CALL! I really wouldn't blame you if you just skipped ahead to that part first, as long as you come back and read the entire thing. :) Hope it lives up to expectations. **

**Thanks for being interested and invested in Oliver's pov. I really can't impress enough how important it is. Because of that, after ch.5 of Oliver's pov is posted and this companion piece marked complete I'm just going to upload those five chapters into the main TLT story. In hindsight it's probably something I should have done from the start but I was against switching pov's after 20 chapters, it just didn't sit right with me. However, I can admit when I'm wrong and after writing almost 30K words of Oliver's pov it's just too much text and too much info that I think readers will be missing. So if you see new updates to TLT I apologize for getting you excited! But a new chapter from Felicity's pov will be coming very soon, promise. **

**Hope all of that made sense! Thanks for reading and reviewing and being generally awesome!**

**Enjoy, and please let me know what you think!**

Christopher Monroe was buried on Thursday. He received full military honors: flag draped coffin, twenty-one gun salute, and taps being played by a lone bugler. Oliver didn't attend. He'd wanted to. He'd known that Felicity would have wanted to be there but Oliver didn't want his presence to detract from the service. Digg had gone in his uniform and Oliver had made sure everything was paid for. And when he found out Monroe had a four year old niece he was helping to support he made sure she wouldn't need to worry about her future. It was truly the least he could do.

The days dragged by, each passing hour with no new information and no word on where she was felt like a stab to his heart and by the time Saturday had come and it had been a week Oliver found that he was numb.

He'd been putting on the hood more, or training. The searches, and scans he left to Digg, unable to sit still long enough to be effective in front of the computers. It all just reminded him of her. If he kept moving it helped. If he got to put the fear of god into some thugs and leave them battered and bloody for the SCPD it helped a little bit more. But nothing could ease the ache that had seemed to take up a permanent residence inside his chest.

Her mother had been quiet until Wednesday. Then there had been calls and texts sent almost continuously. The F.B.I wouldn't leave Nate's parents alone but no one knew why. Oliver had been forced to make up a story about how Felicity was knee deep in the middle of dealing with a merger and she'd call when she could.

Much like the glass of scotch, the phone was thrown across the lair, shattering unsatisfactorily against a concrete pillar. Digg hadn't said a word, just ordered a new phone with all the same settings.

Thursday, while Digg was at the funeral Oliver finally gathered up the courage to go into the office. His mother had been asking him to stop by for two days, there were papers that needed his signature and he had been putting it off.

The tie around his neck felt like a noose and although he knew he should be greeting other employees and behaving like the CEO he set his eyes straight ahead, boarded the executive elevator and didn't say a word.

Their offices were dark and his breath caught as he slowly approached Felicity's desk. He'd automatically gone to their floor, not even considering his mother would be working out of a different office.

For the longest time he just stared. He often caught himself looking at her through the glass walls during the day. She was always a bright spot of color and animation, guaranteed to calm him and remind him of the good things even when he didn't know thats what he needed. But the drawn blinds and dimmed lights just made the space look grey and dreary like all the life had been leached from it.

His mother found him, hands in his pockets, just staring at her desk. He let her lead him away where he silently signed the papers she put before him, not even asking what they were for. He stiffly accepted her hug and left without looking back.

Saturday was the worst. He and Digg didn't say more than two words to each other the majority of the day. There was rumblings on the street that the Triad was attempting to re-establish their base in Starling and Oliver almost welcomed the distraction.

But that night as he suited up and strapped on his quiver his eyes crossed the worn wooden crate he'd dragged back from the island.

He could feel Digg's eyes on him as he opened the lid and stared inside. Near the bottom was one of the copies of the notebook he'd brought with him. He hadn't touched it since the Undertaking even though he still had every name memorized.

His hand hovered over the slim book, hesitating. But it had been a week. A week and there was nothing to go on. Any hope he had was now so faint he didn't even know if it still existed. Instead of waiting for a call that said there was a new lead he was now waiting for the call that said they'd found her body.

"You sure you want to do that?" Digg's voice cut through the lair just as Oliver's hand wrapped around the notebook.

His eyes squeezed shut as he gripped the book tight, head tilting to the side in frustration. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want John to try and convince him to find another way, to not give up. He was at the end of his rope and drowning and the only one who had known how to throw him a lifeline wasn't there to throw it.

He was braced for the lecture. For the speech that was sure to come about how pissed she'd be if she knew what he was contemplating. How she'd waited for him for five months, so he could surely give her more than seven days. How this was Felicity Smoak they were dealing with and she was smart and resourceful and they couldn't underestimate her.

The silence was long and he could hear Digg get up from her chair. But instead of coming to his side the other man was halfway to the stairs when he finally did speak.

"She's not dead yet, Oliver. So pull her out of the fucking coffin." his usual calm demeanor had snapped, and all there was to be heard was anger, and disappointment, and then the slamming of the door as he left.

Oliver stood staring at the book as he fought for control, fought to find the last scrap of strength and willpower he had to put it back and shut the lid.

He patrolled for hours that night. The names of the people in the book cycling through his mind as he roamed the alleys and rooftops, never stepping out of the shadows. Once he almost cracked. He knew how easy it would be to find one of them, sneak in undetected, and growl the familiar phrase once again before he put an arrow through their throat.

An image of Felicity looking at him sadly, shaking her head as she walked away filled his vision and he knew he couldn't. She'd forgive him, he knew that, she might even understand, but a part of her would always have expected more from him, and ever since she'd entered his life he'd expected more of himself.

He spent the last hour sitting on a rooftop watching the city, looking into the blackness and wondering if she was there, if she'd been there all along or if she was so far gone he'd never find her. It was the sharp pain in his side as he took a shuddering breath that made him get up and finally move.

When he stumbled back into the darkened lair to patch up his own injuries it was later than he had thought. The bruised ribs and blow he took to his shoulder was going to leave a mark. As he collapsed on the couch with ice packs placed strategically he couldn't help how his thoughts strayed to her. He hoped she was unhurt, and as safe as she could be. He wouldn't let himself go any further. As much as he was expecting the worst, right then, at those moments before he allowed himself to try and rest he couldn't give in. Digg's words rang in his head, and he fell asleep to 'She's not dead yet' playing over and over in his mind.

The repeated trilling of his phone and Digg's boots on the stairs made him pull his sore body off the couch after only a few hours of sleep. Digg tossed him the phone and a bag of food as he sat up, lukewarm ice packs falling to the floor with a plop as he tried not to grimace.

Oliver felt his stomach drop as the caller I.D showed Lance and he almost couldn't bring himself to answer, fearful of what he might hear.

"Detective?" he said hoarsely, causing Digg to freeze.

"_Wanted to give you a heads up, there's a chance we've found the car, the first one Howard rented that he turned over to Samuels. One matching the description was spotted a few hours from here in Oakdale. Plates aren't the same but the make and model are and it's a rental." _

"He could have switched the plates easily," Oliver finally got out, mind whirling at the chance she could be found,

"_Could have,"_ Lance replied before pausing,_ "Look, Oliver...Jackson...he understands how invested you are but after what happened last time...If you show up at the scene he's going to have you arrested." _

The hand holding the phone fell away as Oliver rubbed his tired eyes and tried to control his breathing, "I don't know how he expects to keep a media blackout if he does that," he bit out with a growl, tired of the red tape and the lies.

"_Oliver...just...stay in Starling. It's a long shot, I'll be honest. Someone matching Samuels description was seen with the car but...brown hair, late twenties matches a lot of guys, doesn't mean its him." _

"Do you think she's even here?" It had been the question he'd been avoiding, but each day that had ended with nothing made him wonder if anyone was even looking in the right place.

Lance sighed,_ "Honestly...I don't know. The profiler seems to be certain he's taken her back to their hometown but...if he has he's doing a damn good job hiding. There's been no contact with his parents or hers or any other family and friends. They've got units on every location associated with the girlfriend and there's been no movement."_

Oliver sank back into the couch, once again conflicted on whether staying in Starling City had been the right call. The last thing he wanted was to hear she'd been found and then have to wait hours to get to her.

"_Right now, I think there's still every chance she's nearby." _Lance continued, but the silence that stretched between them over dead air held the words they weren't saying. What if she was already dead and Samuels was long gone?

"How far is Oakdale?" Oliver finally asked, purposely changing the subject,

"_Three hours in good traffic, we're leaving in ten. I wasn't supposed to even call you until we got there but...I trust you'll behave." _he said evenly but with a warning to his tone, _"I swear to you son, if she's there you'll be the first to know. You can get in your fancy chopper and be here before you know it." _

There was nothing left to be said and the sharp click of the call being ended rang in his ears for a long while.

Digg was waiting expectantly and Oliver filled him in as they ate.

"You going to go anyways?" Digg asked,

Suddenly the breakfast he'd been eating sat in his stomach like a rock and he shoved it aside. "I don't know. If...if she's there and I'm not...but if she's not...I don't know if I can do that again."

Digg nodded in understanding, "How about I call the hanger and have the plane fueled and ready, just in case?"

It was a compromise, and an olive branch after their exchange the night before, although Oliver recognized it wasn't Digg who should be taking the first step.

He opened his mouth to say...he wasn't sure what exactly but Digg held up a hand and stopped him. "Did another name get marked off the list last night?"

"No,"

The hand fell and Digg got up and made his way back to the computers, "That's all I needed to know,"

There was a new text on Felicity's phone from Lance. He'd emailed a file containing what they had on the new intel, and it held an admonishment for the Arrow. Lance suggested he stop trussing up the bottom feeders of Starling and focus on what was important.

Oliver had almost broken another phone when he read it.

Even though his ribs and shoulder burned in protest he knew the only way he'd get through the next three hour wait was to push through the pain as he trained. He was an hour into the salmon ladder and about to work on his target practice when Digg suddenly called him over.

He was standing at the large touch surface table, a map of the surrounding area pulled up. Oliver could see where Starling City was clearly marked, as well as Oakdale, but there was one more location even further out that Digg had circled and labeled.

"What's that?"

"Ashford," Digg replied, a lightness in his tone that hadn't been there in over a week,

Oliver crossed his arms and stood back, waiting for the explanation.

"Ashford, population around eight thousand. Small township about six hours from here." Digg said as he picked up a tablet and made a few taps.

Oliver was beginning to become angry. None of what he was saying was giving him any idea as to why he thought this small town was important.

"Ashford's main economy comes from a factory two towns over, it's basically a bedroom community surrounded by farmland. Typical American small town." sensing Oliver's rising ire he swiped his hand up on the tablet, throwing two images onto the screen in front of them, "So typical it even has a diner."

The image on the left was a roadside view of a quintessential diner, one level, awning out front, shabby paint job and a large sign that proclaimed 'Ashford Diner'. The image on the right was a picture of a half scorched take out menu also from the Ashford Diner.

"Look at the location on the menu," Digg suggested and Oliver realized with a start it wasn't the same one. He looked over at Digg, brows drawn together in confusion.

"That menu was in the backpack that Samuels left at the plaza, it's from their hometown. The name's the same. I was looking at the map, trying to get a feel for Oakdale and the name Ashford popped out at me. I knew I recognized it from somewhere."

Oliver stared at Digg half in shock as he processed what was being suggested, "You can't think…"

"All the tech isn't getting the job done! He's smart. He's stayed off the grid and it's been working! He also didn't go back home because he knew they'd be looking for him there. But this…" Digg said emphatically as he pointed at the screen, "This makes sense. He needs to re-live what happened, and this town with the same name gives him that chance. When she was going through the items in the backpack Felicity said she remembered that Nate and Jenny were supposed to go to the Ashford Diner the night he wrecked. They never made it. What if he's trying to make sure they make it this time."

Oliver took a few steps back as he raked both hands through his hair even though his eyes never left the small dot that said 'Ashford'.

"John…"his voice was low and desperate and half broken, the call from Lance had already sent his mind whirling with the possibility that she'd be found that day. To couple it with Digg's discovery left him reeling.

"I know, man. I know. But...it's the first real lead we've had. Samuels is too smart to get caught on a camera and he's got plenty of cash to keep him quiet for a long time. Every instinct I have is telling me that lead the F.B.I is chasing is a dead end and this is our shot to bring her home." it was the intensity in his eyes and the way his voice never wavered that had Oliver nodding before he even realized what he was doing.

"How far again?"

"Six hours, but I could probably get there in five,"

Oliver shook his head, "No, that's too long, we'll take the chopper." he said decisively, already moving to grab his jacket and phone,

"Choppers too conspicuous. The last thing we want to do is spook him. We wouldn't have a car when got there and we don't even know where he's holed up." Digg replied sensibly and it drew Oliver up short,

With a frustrated grunt he turned back, "Fine, but five hours and not a second more."

"You calling Lance?"

Oliver paused and considered it for a moment, "No, they're already halfway to Oakdale, and I doubt Jackson would divert for this. We'll do this, just us. If…" the hope bubbled so quick in his chest it made his heart clench and he had to shut his eyes tight before he could continue, "If she's there...we'll contact them."

"Fair enough," Digg said, grabbing an extra weapon from the locker and then they were taking the stairs two at a time.

When Digg pulled the Escalade out Oliver didn't say a word, "Bigger gas tank, won't need to stop,"

Soon enough they were flying down the interstate, the practically empty Sunday morning roads stretching ahead of them. Oliver knew it would be the longest five hours of his life, but every mile they put behind them made him hope just that much more. If she wasn't there...he didn't know if he'd come back from that.

Little was said as Digg barreled down the highway. Nothing needed to be said. They knew their mission: Bring her home, by any means necessary.

Two hours in he got a text from Lance saying local PD had lost the car before the F.B.I had arrived and they were setting up a temporary command center in Oakdale until they found it.

When he relayed the news to Digg he just shook his head and let out a huff of expected annoyance, "Because it's not them. Just some poor businessman who's about to have his world turned upside down when he's stopped by a SWAT team in full tactical gear."

Oliver turned the phone in his hands and stared out the window for a long moment, "You really think…"

"I wouldn't get your hopes up. I wouldn't get mine up but…" he sighed and shifted in his seat, hands tightening on the wheel before he continued, "In the Army everything was drilled into you. When to fire, when to take cover, when to advance. Every soldier was expected to react the same way every time. And that works. Most of the time. Except when it doesn't and you ignore the hairs on the back of your neck and theres a bullet finding its target before you can turn. I never ignored those feelings and it saved my ass more than once. And I know you work the same way."

Oliver dipped his chin once. He understood. On the island he'd had to use all his senses in addition to the repetitive training. Pinpoint accuracy didn't mean anything if someone could get the drop on him. He wouldn't know how to function without using his instincts.

"My instincts are telling me this is it."

"I trust you,"

It was just three words but it said everything he couldn't voice just then. He had to trust Digg, he had no choice. He had to trust that this was it, that by the end of the day he'd have her in his arms again. His very survival depended on this ending, and ending soon.

They continued on. No stopping for food, or bathroom breaks, the GPS map silently guiding them closer to their goal.

There was no more contact from Lance, but Oliver hadn't thought there would be. When they passed the exit that would take them to Oakdale he considered having Digg turn off, but only for the briefest of seconds. He trusted Digg, the connection to the other diner made sense, he had to have faith it was right.

For another hour they drove, Digg pushing the limits of how fast they could go without having to deal with a traffic stop. Another hour of trying to ignore the screen that told him how long until they reached their destination. Another hour before his phone rang and everything changed.

He looked down to see an unfamiliar number which made his brows draw together in confusion. There weren't many people who had his private line.

"Lance again?" Digg asked, as the phone rang again,

"No...I don't recognize the number," he replied, and by the third ring a wash of anger overtook him. He didn't have time for misdials, or god forbid the press.

"What?" he snapped into the phone, fully expecting a request for an interview. Instead there was silence and then a sound he'd never forget as long as he lived. A gasping sob that made a chill run up his spine and his breath catch in his throat. And then his name. Her voice saying his name.

Time didn't just still it came to a sudden grinding halt and nothing else around him existed._ She's alive. She's alive. She's alive._ It rolled through him, consuming everything in its path as the confirmation he'd so desperately needed was right there.

"Felicity?! Is that you?" the words were out of his mouth before he knew he was speaking, the questions pointless because he knew it was her. Every cell in his body was telling him it was her. "Are you okay? Where are you? Are you hurt?" he couldn't stop. He needed to know everything immediately.

Her voice was so thick with tears he could barely understand her, _"Oh god, Oliver! I...don't have enough time." _

His heart dropped. She was still in danger. She hadn't gotten away from Samuels.

"Has he hurt you? Where are you?" his eyes burned at hearing her, knowing she was alive, knowing she was out there somewhere but not safe. Blood rushed through his head and left him almost dizzy at the shock of actually speaking to her.

The words spilled out of her, fast and desperate and he struggled to pay attention,_ "I only have a minute. I'm in Ashford. It's a small town, I don't know where. There's a motel off the main road. Room twenty."_

As soon as she said Ashford his head fell into his hands. Digg was right. Digg was right. They didn't have to search any longer.

"We're on the way, Digg figured it out and we'll…" his eyes cut to the GPS to see how far they still were from Ashford, "dammit we're almost two hours away. I'll call the local police-"

Her frantic, panicky plea cut him off, _"NO! You can't! Oliver...he's unstable, you don't...you don't understand and...he's got...oh god, he's got Monroe's gun. I think he killed him." _

She knew about Monroe. The twisting in his gut grew worse and he knew he made some sort of sound, something desperate tore from his chest at the thought of Samuels threatening her and the large SUV suddenly felt small and confining.

"Felicity…" her name emerged from his throat full of everything he couldn't say just then. Run. Stay safe. Don't get hurt. Please stay alive until I can get to you.

She was crying, he could hear her struggle for breath, and all he wanted was to be with her right then. He'd give away his fortune if it would get him to her faster.

"_Oliver I...I have to go now. I'm out of time. I'm sorry. He can't know I called…"_ she sounded small, and sadder than he'd ever heard her before, and he knew she didn't want to hang up.

"FELICITY! NO!" his vocal cords burned with the strain. She couldn't hang up. She couldn't leave him in the dark once again.

Her sobs broke him, his heart aching at her pain, _"I'm sorry," _she whispered so softly he almost missed it, _"I lo...I'm so sorry. Just hurry."_

"FELICITY!" he yelled again even though he'd heard the click,

His fist slammed into the dash with enough force to crack the plastic. The phone fell forgotten into his lap as he sat back and covered his face with his hands, palms feeling the wetness on his cheeks he didn't even know was there.

"Oliver!"

"She's alive. She's in Ashford. You were right." Oliver said without dropping his hands, "You were right,"

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know. She knows...she knows about Monroe. Samuels has his gun." Oliver relayed as he wiped his face and stared at the GPS screen once again, "They're at a motel in town, she said it was off the main road. Room twenty. She must have found a way to call, but she said she didn't have enough time…" he trailed off as his thoughts strayed to the worst. What if they were this close but got there too late?

Digg's jaw clenched but he didn't echo Oliver's thoughts even though it was obvious he shared them. "Call Lance, they'll be about an hour behind us if they leave now."

"I'm not waiting," Oliver said almost angrily,

"No chance in hell. We're getting her out." Digg agreed immediately, "But they still have to know,"

Lances phone rang twice before he picked up, _"Look, Oliver I told you I'd call if we-"_

"She's alive!" Oliver stated, talking over the detective, "She's alive and she called me."

"_What?! Are you sure?" _

"She couldn't talk long. He's holding her at a motel in Ashford, it's about three hours from where you are now."

"_Queen, if this is some sort of wild goose chase…"_

"She is alive!"

There was a beat of silence before he replied, _"Okay, I'll tell Jackson and we'll roll out. But don't you go and do anything stupid! You hear me? You wait until we get there." _

"I can't do that, Detective,"

Lance was sputtering out a protest as Oliver hung up.

"You were right, Digg," his voice was barely audible as he shut his eyes tight and tried to replay her words over in his head. Just to be able to hear her again after so long...he could feel a fresh sting of tears as he pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

Digg didn't say a word, his only reply was to push his foot down on the accelerator as their ETA steadily continued to shrink.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: The final chapter of Oliver's pov! Thanks for taking the time to read this companion piece, and being understanding of the brief break from the main story. I wish I could use the TARDIS to go back and switch it all around and put these where they should have been in the main story. A new chapter of TLT from Felicity's pov should be up soon. Thanks again. **

**Enjoy, and please let me know what you think! **

It didn't take two hours for them to get to Ashford as Digg continued to push the limits of the road and the car, but even a second was too long for Oliver. The worry and anxiety inside him churned. They were so close. She was so close. There was no wasted talk between him and John, they both knew the stakes and they both knew what would happen if they failed.

There was a quick call made to the hanger to request for the pilot to fly ahead to Ashford. Oliver knew as soon as he had her he was going to want her back in Starling as quick as possible; hours in the car wasn't an option.

Half an hour out Digg reached behind his back and pulled out his backup weapon, silently handing it to Oliver. He checked it on instinct and let it lay against his thigh, eyes never leaving the screen that showed how close they now were.

When the motel came into view he felt his breath hitch and the grip he had on the gun grew tighter. Once again he wished for the familiar weight of his bow, but the gun would do, as well as his bare hands if necessary.

Digg pulled to a stop in front of the office and Oliver was out of the car before it had rocked back, his eyes already scanning the doors looking for the number twenty.

Normally at this point in a mission his mind would go blank, instinct and reaction time mixing with his training to allow him to do what he had to do. But right then all he could hear was Felicity's terrified voice on the phone. He'd never heard her that frightened before, and he vowed he'd never hear her like that again. His heart was beating quicker than it ever had, blood rushing in his head so fast he couldn't hear anything else and leaving his fingertips numb.

Digg was two steps behind him to his left, gun drawn as they ran down the cracked concrete walkway that stretched in front of the rooms. When they got to the end it only took one silent exchange before Oliver lifted his leg and kicked the door in violently.

The room was dimly lit, curtains drawn and no lights on when he entered, eyes scanning every inch of space but finding no movement as he shouted her name.

When he saw the bed and the two still bodies everything ground to a halt. His vision blanked for a moment as he tried to process what he was seeing. Samuels body was slumped, half resting against the bed to the right, an ever growing pool of blood surrounding him. Oliver dismissed him almost immediately as the gun fell limp to his side and took in a sight he had never wanted to witness.

Felicity lay just as still as Samuels, but her eyes were open and unseeing and the spread of blood over her left side where her arm was attached to the headboard by handcuffs stood out starkly even in the low light. Her hair was wrong. Not the bright, gleaming blonde that always caught his attention, now it was brown like his sister's. It was the final injustice, for Samuels to have taken something that was so quintessentially Felicity.

Rage and pain and guilt slammed into him so hard he knew he made a noise, something primal and deep that crawled out of his chest and echoed in the small space. He was frozen, unable to move or breathe or even begin to understand what had happened.

It was Digg brushing past him, weapon still drawn that propelled Oliver forward.

Feeling empty inside he took stumbling steps towards her, barely registering the fact that he had to step over Samuels to get to her. He slid the gun into the small of his back with shaking hands, legs threatening to give out as he got closer. As he neared her he could feel the ache in his chest grow until it threatened to consume him. She was pale, and too thin with bruises along her cheek and a split lip that looked fresh. He'd been too late. He'd promised to protect her and he'd failed.

Over a week of waiting, and wondering, and searching. Over a week of slowly sinking down into a hole so deep he didn't know if he'd ever be able to climb out, only to get her phone call a short time before. It was beyond cruel. To be so close and have it torn away so viciously.

He wasn't expecting her to blink. He'd been so sure she was dead, so sure he'd once again lost someone he loved. When her lashes fluttered shut for a split second he felt his heart lurch wildly, as he stared in amazement, almost not understanding what he had seen.

"Felicity!" he cried out, erasing the final two feet that separated them his hands coming forward to cup her face and feel for a pulse.

All the air left his lungs when he felt it, slow, and unsteady but there. She let out a great gasp and pulled back as she blinked furiously, fighting to focus on him. And when she whispered his name in confusion he gave a half-choking sob and dropped his forehead to hers, ragged breaths tearing from his lungs. His legs actually went numb for a moment, and all he could think was that she was alive. She hadn't died. He hadn't lost her.

"Felicity…" his voice was rough and strained and cracked on the last syllable as he felt a rush of heat behind his eyes. He pulled back enough to look at her again, taking in the blood staining her shirt and then looking down for any other injuries. It was then he saw the gun resting against her abdomen.

His stomach sank and the burn of bile raced up his throat as he knew without asking what she'd had to do.

"No…" it left his lips as an exhale. He never wanted that for her. He knew what it would do to her.

"Oliver...I killed him. I killed him Oliver…" she sounded weak and nothing like herself, "Oliver...I...I killed him. Oliver," he could feel her trembling under his hands and he wanted nothing more than to be able to reverse time in order to spare her from this.

"Shhh, don't think about that right now, okay. You're safe." he tried to force himself to sound as normal as possible and knew as soon as the words were out that he had failed.

A surge of anger filled him as his eyes landed on her outstretched arm, "He's got her chained to the bed, find the damn key!" he bit out to Digg, gaze never leaving Felicity.

When Digg crowded in the space next to him he forced himself to tramp down the red hot rage that was beginning to overtake his thoughts. The person he wanted to direct it at was dead, and all he could do now was help Felicity.

"What did that sick son of a bitch do to her?" Digg asked, voice hard as he took in her condition all the while working the key into the lock.

She cried out when her arm was released and suddenly all previous problems were pushed aside as he and Digg worked in tandem.

Oliver took the weight of her arm and laid it gently across her middle while Digg removed the gun and they shifted her down on the bed in order to get an idea of her injuries.

Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks and he scrambled around the end of the bed to get out of Digg's way. "Felicity, look at me, focus on me okay?" he directed as Digg easily tore the fabric of the shirt away from her arm.

"Where are you hurt?" Oliver asked, hands cradling her face, thumbs brushing away the wetness he found as he tried to get her to answer. "Did he shoot you?"

Her head shook once, eyes glazed as she tried to look at him, "I don't know, maybe."

"Jesus," Digg whispered under his breath and Oliver looked up to see him turning her forearm over, a series of short and long cuts of various depths littered the pale skin from wrist to elbow.

"I did that," she said distractedly, her head following Oliver's line of sight, lolling to the side as if she didn't have the strength to control it, "I stole a knife. From the diner. I stole a knife and I hid it." her voice was becoming slurred and Oliver felt a spike of fear.

Digg's eyes shut tight for a second before he dropped a hand to her head. Felicity's lips pressed together as she raised her chin slightly and looked at him, "I had to kill him. I didn't want to but...I…"

"I know." he replied, the gravitas of those two words meaning more than anything else he could have said just then.

The air still around the three of them for a long moment until Digg moved again, trying to get a better look at her injury.

Oliver smoothed loose hair out of her face, trying to ignore how wrong the color looked on her. Her hand gripped the sleeve of his jacket as Digg manipulated her arm, and she sucked air between her teeth in a pained hiss.

"It was a bullet, but I can't tell if it's a graze of if it's still in there." he said as he stood back and turned towards the door. "Med kit is in the car, I'll get it and call Lance too...let him know. Local P.D should at least come secure the scene and send an ambulance."

"NO!" Felicity said sharply making both men look at her in surprise, "No, ambulance. No, hospital." she was almost frantic, her head shaking back and forth while she tried to pull herself upright with her good arm.

"Felicity…" he began but she turned wet, begging eyes on him and he knew he'd do anything she asked if she stopped looking so damn broken,

"Oliver, please," she mouthed, "Let Digg fix me. I want to go home. Please let me go home."

Unable to restrain himself any longer he let out a low growl and slid his arms under her, pulling her tight into his chest as he stood.

"We're not staying in here," he said decisively, taking long strides towards the door. Felicity let her head fall to his shoulder and he repressed a shudder. He wanted her home too. He wanted nothing more to walk out that door and to keep walking, never looking back. But she needed to be treated and they had to wait for the authorities to arrive. However, none of that kept him from wanting to just leave.

Digg moved past him, long legs eating up the distance to the car, and Oliver could already see him fishing his phone from his pocket to make the calls he wished weren't necessary. Bureaucracy and red-tape was not what he wanted to deal with.

The weight of her in his arms was all he had wanted, but now that he had it he almost couldn't let himself believe it was real. It felt like a dream, like a nightmare he expected to wake from where she was still missing.

He paused when he stepped outside, shifting his hold so the fading sun would be out of her face. However, when he looked down her eyes were closed and her face was slack. A bolt of fear shot through him as his heart seized in his chest.

"Felicity! Felicity, wake up! Don't do this! Wake up!"

She jumped, and shot awake, grimacing at the pain that moving her arm must have caused her, the wound bleeding freely again. When her eyes met his he let out a breath of relief and leaned over, kissing her forehead and then her temple, "I thought I'd lost you," he whispered into her skin, unable to keep his voice calm. "I need you to stay awake, okay, you'll be able to rest soon."

He didn't know how tired and exhausted she had to be. Hadn't allowed himself to think about everything she'd gone through, or what Samuels had done to her after she'd hung up the phone. One look at her was enough to make his vision cloud with a fury he could barely tramp down. But right then the only thing that mattered was her wellbeing, they'd deal with the rest when the time was right.

Her eyes grew glassy as she blinked slowly and he felt her hand fall from the hold she'd had on his jacket to lay limp across her middle. He saw her mouth move but no sound came out until she tried again, "I'm sorry...the sedative…" she swallowed hard before she could go on, "I didn't get much but…"

"Sedative? What sedative?" he demanded, looking up quickly to see the back of the Escalade opened with Digg behind the doors, when he looked back her eyes were shut again and her head was falling to the side, "Felicity, open your eyes!"

"He kept me drugged," she said slowly, like each letter was an effort, "For days...I don't know how long," She licked her lips and tried to keep talking, "We fought...he got me in the shoulder...I'm sorry,"

Her body went completely limp in his arms and he was cutting across the parking lot towards Digg, calling his name as he hurried.

"The bastard was keeping her drugged," he spit out when he was close enough, barely keeping a handle on his emotions, "She said he dosed her again when they were fighting and then she passed out,"

Digg quickly put down the supplies he had gathered and checked her pulse and eyes, "She's okay from what I can tell. Just sleeping, which probably isn't a bad thing since I have to clean that wound."

The man cut an appraising look over him and motioned to the open cargo area, "Have a seat and let me get to work,"

If Oliver noticed that Digg never suggested he relinquish his hold on Felicity he didn't say a word.

He sat heavily, adjusting her so she was rolled more towards him, her legs resting next to him in the back of the SUV. With his right hand now free he brushed her hair out of the way and pulled up the sleeve of the t-shirt she wore, getting a good look at her wound for the first time.

It looked more like a long gash he was glad to see, almost three inches in length and deep enough he knew she'd need stitches. The cuts along her forearm made his stomach turn as he rubbed his thumb over the inside of her wrist, the feel of her heart beat thrumming steadily under his touch helping to settle him some.

"I called Lance, he says they're about twenty minutes out and Jackson has put a call into the local PD. They've dispatched an ambulance, but it's got to come from the next county over." Digg said as he draped a blanket over her.

Oliver's head shot up and he glared, "She's not going to the hospital. At least not here." he protested,

Digg looked at him hard, "I heard what she said in the room, and I understand how she feels. I don't think she needs to here. She looks like she's dehydrated, and in need of a good meal and some rest, but other than her arm everything else seems fine. But she's going to need to be seen by someone." he turned his attention back to the wound, letting Oliver mull over what he'd said.

Logically he knew it made sense, however, it didn't match with what his instincts were telling him to do, which was leave, immediately. He had her back now, he wanted it all to be over.

For a long beat they were quiet as Digg worked, Oliver trying to ignore the way the alcohol ran pink after it was poured over her arm.

"Had a text from the pilot," Digg supplied as he capped the bottle and set it aside. "He's at a small airstrip a few miles away."

Oliver nodded, "Good, I want to get out of here as soon as possible."

Digg sighed and paused as he readied the suture kit, "You know they're going to want to talk to her."

Oliver's jaw tightened and he forced himself to run his fingers along her cheek instead of clenching them into fists like he wanted to. "If she wakes up and agrees to it she can give a brief statement, but I will not let them put her through hours of an interrogation."

Digg grunted an agreement and focused on his work. They weren't in the ideal situation for sewing up a wound, but Oliver knew she'd only want Digg doing it.

He worked quickly and efficiently, putting in a row of tiny stitches. "The ones in her leg were probably ready to come out a few days ago." he said absently,

Oliver scrubbed his hand over his face and let out a long breath. The bombing at the office seemed so far away it almost seemed surreal. "What the hell has he done with her for a week!" he said in a harsh, angry hiss, "A week! Have they been here the entire time? He kept her sedated, barely fed her from how much weight she's lost…" his chest was growing tight as the need to lash out and seek vengeance tried to take over.

Digg paused and looked at him hard, "There will be a time and a place to work through all of this, man, but it's not right now. She survived. She did what she had to do and she survived. The hard part now will be keeping her in one piece once all of that registers with her."

Oliver nodded stiffly, and directed his gaze back to her face.

In the distance sirens could be heard and Digg shook his head sardonically as he tied off the last stitch. "Here comes the cavalry. Probably the most exciting thing to happen in this town in a decade." he taped a gauze square in place and quickly cleaned the smaller cuts, "These aren't that deep." he said as he handed Oliver smaller adhesive bandages for the ones that needed to be covered, "Take care of that while I take care of them,"

Over his shoulder Oliver could see two sheriff's cars skidding to a stop behind and next to them.

Felicity didn't so much as stir at the noise, and he was forced to agree with Digg he was grateful she'd slept through the treatment. He kept his attention on her, carefully placing the bandages to protect the worst of the cuts. He couldn't imagine what had been going through her head when she'd grabbed the knife and concealed it in her sleeve. How she had to have felt it cutting into her, but left it there until she had a chance to use it. She amazed him. He'd known she was strong. He'd known she was tough. But what she'd gone through...what she'd done...it just made him more certain how lucky he was to have her in his life.

He'd barely been paying attention to Digg, who was surrounded by the Sheriff and his deputies, but he did hear "Mr. Queen" get bandied about more than once and in this instance had no problem with his name and notoriety being used for their advantage.

Digg and the Sheriff nodded as they passed by the back of the Escalade, but no one approached him. He turned his head and watched as Digg lead them to the room and stood outside as the Sheriff stepped in.

Oliver didn't so much as shift even though his legs were beginning to tingle from how he sat in the back of the cargo area. Occasionally he would move to touch her face, or her neck, or her leg, as if he had to make contact with her to remind himself that she was really there and he hadn't lost her.

The long line of black SUVs that were caravaning silently down the road let him know the feds had arrived. He just hoped Lance could help expedite their leaving. He wanted Felicity back in Starling, back in the mansion, back in his bed where he knew she was safe.

He watched, eyes narrowed, as the cars pulled to a stop and a flood of black clad agents poured out, all carrying guns they wouldn't be needing.

Felicity's face contorted at the sound of multiple slamming car doors and he leaned over her, whispering in her ear that she was safe.

When he looked up he saw Detective Lance eating up the ground between them, his eyes firmly fixed on Felicity.

"Oh god, no." he breathed out as he slowed his approach, taking in her appearance and obvious injuries. "What did that sick bastard do to her?" unknowingly almost repeating Digg's initial observation verbatim.

Oliver's throat was thick and it took him longer than he wanted to respond, "What didn't he do," he finally replied.

Lance ran a hand over his head and moved closer, fingers coming out tentatively to barely brush her newly dyed hair. "Jesus," he muttered under his breath, "She did it, huh? She killed him?" there was an unmistakable tone of pride in his voice, although heavily concealed by sadness and resignation. The relief on his face was evident and the man didn't even seem to notice as he let his hand just touch her head once.

Oliver felt his breath hitch and couldn't answer. Lance turned away and looked around, clearing his throat before he spoke, "They're gonna want to talk to her, Oliver, you know that. You know Jackson is a decent guy but...there are protocols and she's the only one who knows what actually happened."

He just held her tighter, "I don't know how much she can tell you since she was kept drugged almost constantly!" the tenuous rein he'd had on his anger was slipping, he was about to say more when Felicity turned in his arms and let out a low moan.

When he saw her eyelids flutter he forgot all about Lance or anyone else, as his hand came up to cup her cheek. "Hey, it's okay, you're safe." he repeated as she struggled to open her eyes the rest of the way.

The faintest bit of blue peeked out and he felt some of the tension leave his shoulders, then she was blinking repeatedly, her brows drawing together as she slowly focused on him.

"Oliver?" her voice sounded scratchy and raw, as she turned towards him, a small smile lifted the corner of her mouth and it almost took his breath away. Until she frowned and her eyes popped open in confusion and panic.

"Felicity, you're safe, it's over."

"Oliver?" she repeated, finally looking at him like she might not be seeing correctly, "You're here?"

"Yeah, we found you. Digg and I found you. You called me, remember?" his knuckles brushed over her temple and down along the side of her face,

"The diner. I called you from the diner. The nice waitress, she let me use her phone." she started and then blanched, eyes going wide in fear, "Oh god...Oliver...I…"

Before he could react she had begun to retch. Moving quickly he tipped her to the side so she could get sick on the ground if necessary, his hand fell across her middle and he could feel her abdominal muscles twitching and straining to expel whatever was in her stomach.

Lance moved as well, swiping her hair out of her face and helping support her head, but other than a few horrible noises nothing came up.

She went limp in Oliver's arms, breathing heavily, tears dripping off her nose. He rubbed comforting circles over her belly hating how the feel of her ribs was more prominent than it had been before.

He continued to whisper soft words into her hair until she took a long, ragged breath in through her nose and lifted her head some. She blinked again when she saw Lance kneeling in front of her.

"Det...Detective?"

"Hey sweetheart," he said quietly, as he straightened the blanket across her legs. "Glad we got you back,"

"Where's Digg?" she asked, eyes taking in the bandage on her arm,

"He's talking to the agents who've been working the case. But he fixed you up first," Oliver supplied,

"Speaking of the agents…" Lance began, shooting a look at Oliver before he continued, "I know you might not feel up to it, but you're going to need to give a statement."

All the color drained from her face again and he felt a low rumble emerge from his chest as he hitched her closer.

"I'll talk to them. Try and see if I can't get them to let you just do a brief statement right now and they can do the formal one back home in a couple of days when you're feeling better." Lance offered,

She was trembling now and Oliver knew it was from thinking about having to relive what she'd just gone through. "Do I have to?" she asked in the smallest voice he'd ever heard her use before.

A huge exhale left his lungs and Oliver couldn't help slipping a hand into her hair and gathering her to him, his lips pressed tight to her head. She felt like she was going to fly apart.

His eyes met Lance's over the top of her head and he silently pleaded with the older man to not do this to her, to allow her some bit of peace. With a sigh Lance dropped his head and let it hang for a long moment before he scrubbed his hands over his thighs and pushed to his feet.

"I'll see what I can do."

The screaming siren of the approaching ambulance made her cringe and Oliver covered her ear with his palm as he looked around for Digg who was already moving to intercept the paramedics.

He saw his partner trying to get them to stop and listen but before Oliver knew it there were three medics rushing right towards them.

Felicity looked up at that moment, no doubt picking up on the tension that had entered his body, and emitted a small shrieking cry when she spied the strangers.

Oliver's free hand was out, and he was ready to put Felicity down and physically block her if necessary, but luckily Digg slipped in front of them and helped put up a wall of protection.

"You need to back off!" Oliver ground out, voice as low as it ever was when he used the modulator,

"Give her some space and let me brief you," Digg tried, but they didn't seem to be interested in listening as the one in the front continued to try and push forward,

"Hey, man, you need to listen!" Digg bit out, one large palm coming out to slap across the man's chest and keep him from taking another step.

They were quickly joined by two of the deputies, and several agents all who seemed to be talking at once. Felicity's hand wrapped tight in his jacket as she turned her face into his chest, trying to make herself as small as possible.

It was Lance and Jackson shoving their way through and talking over the rest that finally got the medics to back off some. Digg stepped away with them, and Oliver could tell by the set of his shoulders and the way he kept shaking his head it wasn't going well.

"I just want to go home," she whispered, "I want it to be over,"

"It's almost over. I promise." he said as carefully as he could, knowing his tone was nowhere near as calm as he needed it to be.

Digg headed back, face drawn and Oliver could already feel his ire building.

He knelt down so he could look Felicity in the eyes when he talked, "Hey, they have to look you over, okay. They're not going to touch your arm, and they're not going to take you to the hospital." he waited for her to slowly turn her head so she was looking at him, neither of them missing how she grimaced and shut her eyes tight for a second. Digg flicked his gaze to Oliver and rubbed a hand over his face, "But you're going to have to go lay on the stretcher, okay."

A strangled noise came from the back of her throat and Oliver was on his feet, ready to put her in the car and leave. It was Digg's hard grip on his shoulder that kept him in one place.

"Oliver, we don't have a choice. Let them check her out and get it over with. She could probably use some fluids which we don't have with us."

Lance joined them, and if he noticed the tension he didn't say anything, "Sorry, they need at least a basic statement today." he said, looking genuinely contrite

Oliver's head fell back in frustration and fury. She'd been through enough. It all needed to end.

"Let's get it over with," Digg said in that even tone of his that Oliver often appreciated, just not at that moment.

When he looked down he was surprised to see Felicity staring back, a look of resigned acceptance on her face. "I can do it," she whispered,

"You shouldn't have to," he replied immediately, angry he seemed to be the only one who wanted to keep her from having to relive it all again.

The sharp bitter laugh she gave made his heart clench, "Shouldn't have to do a lot of things. Don't have a choice,"

He didn't want to think what sort of reserve she had to be tapping into in order to agree to do this. How much damage had Nate done to her that would stay with her for the rest of her life. This was never supposed to be her fate. He knew what it was like to live with blood on your hands, but she was never supposed to know.

"Oliver…" it was her soft touch against his jaw that broke him from his thoughts,

With a gasp he curled around her, burying his face in her neck. "I missed you," he said brokenly, feeling her nails scraping through the hair on his face he hadn't bothered to keep up with for days. The weak hold he'd had on everything had snapped for just a second.

"I missed you," she replied, turning her head so her lips moved against his jaw, "I can do this,"

He kissed her, hard and quick, avoiding the cut on her lip and pulling back before she could even try and return it. He kept his head down as he blinked wet eyes, not looking up until he had his control back.

He looked Lance dead in the eye, and then turned his gaze on Jackson, "She gets upset at all and this is over,"

There was a second where he thought Jackson was going to challenge him, but then he nodded and led the way to the back of the open ambulance.

The stretcher looked hard and uncomfortable and it was the last place he wanted to put her down. He didn't want to put her down at all. With a stuttered movement he placed her as gently as possible, brushing a kiss over her forehead along with a promise to not leave her.

There was a flash of panic in her eyes as he sat on the bench next to her and he was already reaching for her hand when it reached out for his. Her chest rose and fell in quick, short bursts and he could see she was on the verge of a panic attack.

"You're safe, I'm right here," he said as calmly as possible while he smoothed a hand over her head.

She didn't speak, but gave him a short nod and he could feel her nails dig into his flesh from where she gripped him so tightly.

A voice over his shoulder interrupted them, and when the paramedic asked for him to step outside Oliver thought he might like to tear the man's throat out. He had no intention of leaving her.

It took Felicity asking for him to be allowed to stay that the medic responded to, and Oliver couldn't help but level the man with a glare as he began to prepare his equipment.

Felicity made a small noise and Oliver turned back to her, trying to keep her focus on him and not what the medic was doing. They made it through routine blood pressure and oxygen level checks without incident, but when the man moved towards her and began to check her for any head trauma she balked.

With a violent jerk she pulled away and tried to move as far towards Oliver as she could. "Please...please don't touch my hair. He...he touched my hair...I can't." her voice was small and trembling and he felt a flare of protectiveness surge within him quickly followed by the ever present guilt he'd been carrying for the past week.

From that point on the medic wisely told Felicity everything he was going to do before he did it.

Oliver saw how she began to tremble again when the needle was brought out to start the I.V and he cupped his hand over her cheek, directing her gaze towards him and away from what was happening on her other side, beginning to talk in an attempt to distract her.

"It'll be over soon, you just need some fluids and then we'll be on the plane back to Starling."

Her eyes widened at that and he could see the questions begin to swirl. How far were they from home? How did they know to look for her in Ashford? How did they figure it out and not the F.B.I?

"Mostly blind luck," he said with a shake of his head. "There hadn't been a real lead for days. The profiler was convinced you'd been taken back east, and that's where the F.B.I was focusing most of their efforts. Digg and I had been pouring over every bit of evidence we had when a call came in from Lance. He said they had received an anonymous tip that Samuels had been spotted in a town about three hours from here and he was going to ride along." He was being intentionally vague. She didn't need to know all the details yet if ever. He flicked a quick look to the medic to see he was about to insert the port and held her hand tighter.

Her eyes had shut when the needle had gone in and she swallowed hard, blood draining from her already pale face. When she looked at him again there was a spark of determination.

"It was obviously a bad lead. And it doesn't explain how you knew to come here." she still sounded shaky, but he knew she was trying to keep herself distracted and he wasn't going to let her down.

"Digg was looking at a map of the surrounding area, just happened to see the name of the town and remembered he'd seen the same name on the diner menu from the backpack in the plaza. We decided to come on a whim and check it out. Honestly I think Digg was just trying to get me out in an attempt to clear my head a bit." That was an outright lie, but he couldn't let her know how bad it had gotten. He couldn't let her know how close to the edge he'd been. She didn't need to know how desperate everything had become. How the F.B.I had warned them every passing hour past the first forty-eight dropped the chances of her being found alive. How it had been seven days of hell and imagining every time the phone rang it would be the call saying her body had been discovered.

He hadn't realized he'd gone quiet until he felt her fingers on the back of his neck, softly carding through his hair. "What?"

"We're six hours from Starling. We shouldn't have driven. We could have been here faster and…" he blurted out before he could stop himself, the guilt tasting bitter in his mouth and making him want to spit it out when he really should have been swallowing it down as part of his penance. He knew why they had driven but now, in hindsight...all of those reasons didn't seem to matter.

"Hey, you had no reason to think I was here, you said so yourself. Don't take on blame that's not yours." the small bit of absolution she was giving him wasn't deserved and he couldn't bring himself to lift his head. Instead he stroked his thumb over her hand and shut his eyes as she continued to run her fingers through his hair.

For a long moment it was actually quiet until he heard movement behind him and turned to see Jackson climbing into the ambulance.

"Ms. Smoak, I'm Agent Jackson and I'm in charge of the task force based out of Starling City."

Her hand slid off the back of Oliver's neck and he grabbed it up quickly, feeling the tension enter her body.

"Mr. Queen I'm going to need you to step out while I take Ms. Smoak's statement."

Oliver's back stiffened and he had to choke back a laugh. There was no way he was leaving. The idea was absurd.

"Mr. Queen…" Jackson began again but Oliver just leveled him with a glare, which Jackson decided to ignore. "I understand this is difficult, but I am already compromising by conducting the interview here instead of insisting that Ms. Smoak be taken to the nearest field office and debriefed immediately, which is typically how things would go in a situation like this."

The swell of rage that filled him was almost welcomed. He knew that feeling. He could work with that. "I would like to see you try,"

Agent Jackson's eyes flashed, he was clearly not used to be challenged, "Sir, I will get the statement one way or the other."

"You can threaten to have her transported. But if you do that I'd like to remind you that I have the Defense Secretary's private number, and Queen Consolidated's Applied Sciences division holds quite a few defense contracts. It would be unfortunate if those contracts were terminated and the research lost because certain members of the government couldn't conduct themselves satisfactorily."

He'd felt...useless as Arrow since all of this had started. He had failed, repeatedly to do what he was trained to do. But if the Arrow couldn't help her just then, he'd damn well make sure that Oliver Queen, CEO could.

Felicity's head whipped towards him, but he only saw it out of his periphery. He and Jackson were engaged in a battle of wills just then and he couldn't spare her a glance.

Finally Jackson looked away, his jaw tightening as he considered Oliver's words, "Mr. Queen, I do not wish to cause Ms. Smoak any further stress. But I also cannot allow you to be present when she gives her statement."

Oliver's hands clenched into fists and he had to remind himself he was still holding onto her when he felt the small bones in her hands pressed together under his grip.

"Oliver, it's okay. I'll be fine." she said quickly, and he couldn't help the way he turned to look at her, stricken expression crossing his face.

He realized his mistake as soon as he saw her eyes drop, a fresh wash of tears making them look wavy in the dim light.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath. She thought he was upset with her, "No, I...I just need you..." he cut himself off and shut his eyes tight for a moment. He didn't know how to explain to her that he needed to be near her. To be able to see her and touch her because he'd gone too long thinking he'd never get to do those things again and right then he couldn't reconcile those fears with the reality that she was safe. "Are you sure?"

Part of him wanted her to say no.

"I just want it over with." she said tiredly, and it was her forlorn, exhausted tone that made him concede. They'd get this over with and they'd leave.

"Okay," he agreed, "I'll be right out there if you need me." Before he could talk himself out of it, or see something else in her eyes that would make him stop he forced himself to his feet and brushed a kiss over her cheek, not looking back as he exited the ambulance.

The whirling red and blue lights of the police cruisers cut into the rapidly darkening sky, casting shadows everywhere he looked. A quick glance towards the motel room they'd found her in showed a large spotlight going up as the area was swarmed by agents. He resolutely turned his back on the view and took up a position ten feet from where she was.

He felt Digg and Lance come up to flank him, but none of them spoke. The three held a silent sentry as F.B.I agents, and sheriff's deputies, and forensic units swarmed about them.

But Oliver's eyes were locked on the dim cavern of the ambulance. He couldn't see her, Jackson blocked his view, and no one had turned on the interior lights. All he could make out was a dark shape and the edge of the stretcher when the strobes hit it. It was pointless to try and hear her, but he kept straining his ears anyways.

A part of him ached to know what she was saying. Partly because he didn't want her to have to tell it again. Partly because he needed to know what she'd gone through. And another part of him, the selfish part, didn't want to know. He didn't know if he could handle hearing what had happened to her. If he didn't know it was one last layer of guilt he could leave off.

And that made him feel even more guilty. She'd lived it. She'd been forced to endure all of it and he hadn't been able to stop it. The least he could do was take on as much of it for her as possible. To try and make her burdens his. Logically he knew that's not how it worked, but it didn't stop him from wanting to be able to save her from as much of it as he could.

The longer he was forced to wait the more anxious and tense he became. On the outside he was a solid, rigid, unmoving force that betrayed none of the inner turmoil churnin through him. It crossed his mind that the profile he exuded just then looked similar to when he stood on rooftops in the middle of the night with a hood and a bow.

He needed to move, but he wasn't going to shift from his spot. The second Jackson was done with her Oliver planned on being back at her side. He could feel how tight his jaw was. There was an actual pain he could feel shooting down the sides of his neck, but he couldn't get himself to ease up, to relax. That might not happen for a long time.

When the agent suddenly half stood, Oliver started forward a step. All his senses were on alert telling him something was wrong. Then he heard it, a high pitched cry that emerged from the darkness and he was moving.

Hands dropped to his arms to hold him back but he shrugged them off. Jackson had already moved back, turning as Oliver approached at a run.

"I'm sorry," he said with obvious concern, "I didn't realize she was unaware of how long she'd been gone."

Oliver's heart dropped and then he was climbing in the back.

She was so pale she was almost grey, her mouth opening and shutting with nothing coming out but a garbled, unintelligible sound full of shock and her complete inability to understand what she'd been told.

"Felicity!" he said sharply, not even noticing how loud he was in the small space. Digg was crowded in next to him, and Oliver barely noticed as the other man removed her I.V.

He took her face in his hands and tried to get her to look at him, but her eyes scared him. They were wide, pupils blown, and she didn't seem to be seeing anything. "Felicity! You're safe! You're okay!" he shouted, hoping if nothing else she'd hear him.

When she did respond it was with a gasp as she struck out frantically, hand coming to wrap itself once more in his jacket. "A week?" she gasped out between sobs, "A week? Oliver...I didn't….I didn't know! I didn't know!" she collapsed against him, "I didn't know it had been that long. What did he do to me? I can't remember! What did he do?"

Her words tore at him, gnawing at his soul as his mind buzzed white with static. She didn't know she'd been gone a week. She had no memories of half the time she'd been missing. What had that bastard done to her?

He had her in his arms and was out of the ambulance before he'd known he'd moved. She jumped and hitched against him, her breaths erratic and short, and one look at her terrified face was all he needed to know she was too far gone.

Lance raced ahead and opened the back door to the Escalade, clapping him on the shoulder as he maneuvered her gently into the car. "Get her home safe," he heard before the door was shutting behind him.

She was slumped unnaturally against the tan leather, head lolling to the side and her eyes still had that far off, unattended look to them that made a shiver go down his spine.

He slipped a hand under her neck to support her head, the other gripping her shoulder tight, as he watched her struggle to breathe. Both her hands came up to pull at her bloodstained t-shirt, as if it was constricting her, fingers weakly pulling at the fabric

"Felicity! Breathe!" he ordered, "You're having a panic attack. Open your eyes and look at me."

Not breathing himself he watched as she tried. He saw the struggle as she worked to bring herself back, and knew how hard it was for her.

"Listen to my voice, and concentrate on your breaths." he lowered his voice, trying to help calm her by staying calm himself, but he heard the tremors and the cracks, and knew he was only barely hanging on.

Slowly she regained control. Her breaths got longer, and there was more time between them. Color began to return to her face, and her eyes began to 'see' him once again.

He saw when she opened her mouth and tried to speak but he cut her off before she could.

"Don't, don't talk about it right now." he said, letting the finger he'd laid over her lips caress the chapped skin for a moment.

With a sigh she let her head fall back as she leaned into his arm.

"Let's go, Digg." he threw over his shoulder, gathering her back to him as they pulled away from the motel and the hell she'd been forced to endure.

Small tremors periodically made her body shake head to toe and each time Oliver would hold her tighter and whisper to her that she was safe, and she could sleep.

He didn't take his eyes off of her during the entire drive. They were leaving. Finally. The only goal he'd had was finally being met.

Find her. Save her. Bring her home.

Two out of three.

The hot sting behind his eyes made him drop his head over hers, peppering her forehead with small kisses. She barely stirred and he knew she was almost asleep.

When the car stopped he looked up to see the sight of his jet parked on a weed infested runway. The stairs were already down, the pilot waiting at the bottom and it took no time for Digg to open the door.

He settled in the back where three seats made a small couch, Digg dropped into the single chair across from them and didn't say a word about how he left Felicity in his lap.

They didn't speak until after the stairs had been brought up and the door shut and the pilot came over the intercom to say they were clear for takeoff.

When they were in the air he let out a sigh that was mirrored by Digg and let his head fall back to be struck almost immediately by a wave of exhaustion.

It took effort to open his eyes and when he did he saw the supportive stare of his partner.

"I'll keep watch, take a rest." he ordered and Oliver didn't fight him.

Felicity mumbled something in her sleep and turned into him slightly. He smoothed a hand over her head and took her hand in his, tangling their fingers together as they lay across her middle. The deep shuddering exhale that emerged from his chest as he leaned back did little to expel the new demons he'd acquired in the past week, but it was a cathartic release none the less.

He stretched his legs out and crossed his feet at the ankles as he held her just a little bit tighter. She was alive. She was in his arms. He had her back.

She was alive.

Finally, knowing Digg was keeping watch over her he shut his eyes and let himself sleep.


End file.
